Nasty Girls
by Flagg1991
Summary: Sequel to Nasty Girl. Lana tries to get Lincoln to do nasty stuff with her, and after being caught in the act, they owe someone a favor. Meanwhile, Lola plots to steal Lincoln away. Cover by Raganoxer.
1. First Chapter, Y'all

**Lyrics to** _ **O.P.P.**_ **by Naughty by Nature (1991)**

There were two places in the world Lana Loud loved to be beside the dump - in her old brother's arms, naked, panting, and covered in sweat - and The Pizza Dungeon. That place was the best. It had games, a playground ( _with_ an awesome ball pit), and was really, really gross: The floors were always sticky, the tables unwashed and crusted with food, and the bathrooms...sweet mama, the bathrooms! You could smell them as soon as you walked through the front door, and once you actually went into one of them, the stench jammed itself into your nose and virtually raped you. The toilets were splattered with poop and pee, the mirrors were grimy, and, if you were lucky, the commode would overflow when you tried to flush it.

It was only natural, then, that she would choose to have her seventh birthday party there - Lola got to pick last year, and this time it was _her_ turn. _The Pizza Dungeon, please!_ Everyone groaned and tried to talk her out of it, but her mind was made up. _It's either that or the dump_ she said, knowing full well that no one would choose the latter - though if they did, she'd be more than happy with that too.

On October 13, the Saturday before hers and Lola's actual birthday, she sat at a booth along the wall with Lincoln, Lola, and her father, and giddily watched as a swarm of kids mobbed the playground. Lola sat next to her with crossed arms and a glower, and Lincoln sat across the table, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

She opened her mouth to speak, but trailed off when Dino the Hip Hop Dragon, The Pizza Dungeon's dinosaur-suited mascot, strutted over, a pair of shades covering his eyes and a red banana wrapped around his forehead. At the next booth over, Lori looked over her shoulder, saw him, and narrowed her eyes, and across from her, Luna snickered the way one does when they see a hopeless loser walking by.

"Yo, yo, what it do? Who the birfday girl?" He looked from Lana to Lincoln. "Nigga, I know you." He slapped the back of hand into Lincoln's chest, and Lincoln jumped. "You was in here with that nigga arm I broke. How his sista doin?"

Lincoln blushed - he didn't like being put on the spot. "Uh, good. She, uh, she had her babies."

Dino nodded, then froze. "Nigga, what? Babe- _ees?"_

"Yeah," Lincoln said, "t-triplets."

DIno looked at him for a moment, then threw back his head and shrieked laugher. "God _damn_ , nigga. She and that fat boy all fucked, huh?"

"Yeah, they both look really tired all the time. And she's gained a lot of weight."

Hanging his head, Dino waved his hand as if to say _stop, you're killing me._ "Anyway, nigga, who the birfday girl?"

"Lana and Lola," Lincoln said, "my sisters."

Dino turned to them: Lola ignored him and Lana grinned sheepishly. "Hey."

"Happy birthday, girl." He turned to Lola...waited for her to acknowledge him...then looked her up and down when she didn't. "Can't say hey?"

Lola _humphed._

"I see how it is," Dino hummed. "Little miss thang think she too good fo my dungeon."

"I _am_ too good for this place," Lola spat. "Clean your bathrooms every once in a while."

Dino weaved his head from side to side like a sassy black woman. Uh-oh. "Okay, I see, don't worry, hope you ain't tryna play no games. I don't give tokens to little brats."

Lola sneered.

"That's right. No Pac-Man, nigga, no STUN Runner, _no_ games. You lucky Imma let you have yo pizza. I oughta take that away too."

"Take yourself away," Lola said.

Dino glared at her...then walked off with a shake of the head. Lana let out a pent-up breath and Lincoln sagged his shoulders; they were both expecting things to go from bad to worse.

After the run-in with Dino, Lana went back to staring longingly at the ball pit, an idea forming in the back of her mind then moving to the front like an air bubble. Since she and Lincoln started going out (if that's what you wanna call it), they did their best to not act _too_ chummy in front of everyone else, but it was her birthday, the scent of the dirty bathrooms was turning her on, and she was even more in love with her older brother than yesterday. "Hey, Linc, wanna go play in the ball pit?"

Lincoln glanced across the dining room and frowned. "I dunno, it looks really crowded." He turned to her, and she winked at him. When she said play, she meant _play_.

See, she loved doing sex with him, but she _really_ wanted to try nasty stuff - he wasn't into it, but promised to do things with her anyway. _Just...nothing_ too _crazy._ She figured she had to start small. Right? Work him up to bigger stuff. One of the things they talked about doing, and that he reluctantly agreed to, was doing sex in public. It didn't have to be full blown sex, they could touch each other or she could suck him - it didn't really matter, she just liked how grody it was.

"Uh...I dunno. The, uh, the pizza's gonna be here soon."

Next to him, Dad, his hands steepled in front of him, made a noise in the back of his throat. "I doubt that, son. We'll be waiting another hour for these bozos. Go have fun. I'll call you when it's ready."

Lincoln blushed and favored Lana with a beseeching look. _Please, no; I'm afraid we'll get caught._

She rolled her eyes. She loved him to death, but he could be _such_ a Weenie Hut Jr.s' sometimes. "C'mon, Linc," she said and slipped out of the booth.

With a sigh, Lincoln got up. "Fine," he said sullenly.

She reached out, took his hand, and dragged him toward the playground as, to their left, Dino took the stage. "What it do, y'all? We gonna drop this next one fo' the _real_ niggas in the house."

Piano driven music backed by a drum beat filled the restaurant, and Dino started bobbing his head and throwing up gang signs. Kids crowded the stage and pumped their firsts, a little white boy about three putting his hands on his knees and twerking against a morbidly obese black girl with braids.

 _O.P.P., how can I explain it?_ _I'll take it, frame by frame it_

 _To have y'all all jumpin', shoutin', sayin' it_

 _O is for "other," P is for "peoples'," scratch your temple_

 _The last P, well, that's not that simple_

 _It's sort of like, well, another way to call a cat a kitten_

 _It's five little letters that are missin' here_

Lana threw a glance at the stage and frowned; Dino did a perfect front flip, then followed it up with a sick one handed cartwheel. How he could do all of that in that bulky dinosaur suit?

Hm.

One of life's great mysteries.

She and Lincoln were at the ball pit now - a little set of stairs provided access to the opening; kids splashed happily in the plastic tide, one climbing up the side of the mesh wall, slapping his elbow, and dropping onto a playmate like the Rock or something.

"Lana," Lincoln said nervously, "this _really_ isn't a good idea."

 _How many brothers out there know just what I'm gettin' at_

 _Who think it's wrong 'cause I was splittin' and co-hittin' that_

 _Well, if you do, that's O.P.P. and you're not down with it_

 _But if you don't, here's your membership_

Lana hummed. "Of course it is." Before he could protest further, she went up the stairs and hopped into the pit. "Come on, Linc!" she cried over her shoulder. "The balls are warm and sticky - just like your cum!"

A shocked blush colored Lincoln's face and he whipped his head around to see if anyone heard, but nobody was paying attention to them. He looked at Lana, his face setting into a stern expression: She was always doing stuff like that. One time she said something about his penis in front of Lori. She thought it was hilarious, he did not - maybe the thought of getting caught excited her, but it downright _terrified_ him. They'd both wind up in therapy or something, and worse - they couldn't be together anymore. That prospect filled him with dread.

She responded to his admonishing look with a gap-tooth grin that lit her face like a lamp. "Come on, Lincy-stinky." She picked up a red ball and threw it at the mesh wall. "You know you wanna."

Sigh. It was really hard staying mad at her.

"Alright," he said and climbed the stairs. Instead of jumping, he waded in slowly, wincing at the feeling of the balls. She wasn't lying: They _were_ warm and sticky, as though each one had been dipped in soda and left to dry in the hot sun. God alone knew what was in here - dirty diapers lost at the bottom, e. Coli, maybe a dead body.

On her knees, Lana grinned up at him, and he forced himself to sit. "We're not doing anything dirty though," he said and held up a finger.

 _Have you ever known a brother_

 _Who had another, like, a girl or wife_

 _And you just had to stop a toast_

 _'Cause he looked just that nice?_

 _You looked at him, he looked at you_

 _And you knew right away_

 _He had someone but he was gonna be yours anyway!_

Lana cocked her head, lifted her brows challengingly...and grabbed his crotch, making him jump. "I say we are."

A little girl waded past, climbed out, and went away, Lincoln flinching and expecting her to see and send up an alarm. "N-No," he said, doing his best to sound firm.

Onstage, Dino threw the mic down and Crip-walked back and forth, much to the audience's delight. Lana squeezed, and Lincoln's breath caught. She leaned in, her face filling the world, her eyes burning with passion and the corners of her lips turning slyly up. Lincoln gulped, feeling like a lamb in the maw of a wolf; even so, he was starting to get hard. Her sweet breath broke across his nose and he reflexively inhaled, the smell steeping his brain. "I'm just gonna give you a quick handie, okay?"

Lincoln licked his lips. He wanted to say no, but found himself nodding instead. Lana's grin widened, and she fumbled for the zipper.

Screw it, Lincoln thought; YOLO. He brushed her hand away, undid the button, and yanked the zipper down. Lana giggled. "That's the spirit," she said and tugged the waistband of his briefs, her fingertips slipping in and threading through his snowy white pubic hair. She purred and pulled them over his throbbing erection, freeing it. Lincoln looked anxiously around - the closest kids were in the far corner, either wrestling or having an orgy, he couldn't tell, couldn't think; Lana's slender fingers wrapped lovingly around his length, her touch warm, soft, and gentle in contradiction to her rough, tomboyish nature.

Lincoln arched his hips and splayed his hands on the floor of the pit; balls covered all but the head - it looked like a periscope peeking up from the waves. Lana stared hungrily down at it as she stroked up, her cheeks turning red and her breathing coming faster, more ragged. She glanced up at him, and their eyes locked. "See?" she asked and brushed her thumb tenderly across the tip, collecting and smearing a bead of his precum. "No one's gonna -"

A voice spoke from outside the ball pit, and they both jolted. "Oh, hell no!"

Lana whipped her hand away and Lincoln shoved his boner back into his underwear, his heart slamming so hard the edges of his vision grayed.

"I saw that," Dino said, "got yo dick out in my ball pit, nigga, what's wrong with you? Little kids -"

When Lincoln and Lana both looked at him, he froze...then flipped his sunglasses up. "Hol' up. Ain't y'all related?"

Lincoln seized up like a deer in the headlights, and Lana sputtered. "N-N-No, we, uh…"

Dino shrank back. "Oh, y'all nasty. Imma tell the manager on yo asses."

"No!" Lincoln and Lana cried in unison. "Please don't tell," Lana begged, tears springing to her eyes. She got to her knees and balled her hands in supplication. "We're so sorry."

"We w-w-won't do it again," Lincoln stammered - he was cold and trembled with horror at the thought of his parents separating him and Lana. She was his sister, but she was more than that - he loved her with everything he had, loved her grossness, her laugh, the happy light in her eyes, the way she snuggled up to him when they sat together on the couch, her head rubbing against his arm like an affectionate cat. Bitter tears spilled down his cheeks and his lips quivered. "Please don't tell."

Lana was crying now too. "Our mom and dad will break us up and I love him!"

For a moment Dino considered them...then made a sound of disgust. "Fine, I won't tell, damn."

Matching expressions of hope blossomed on Lincoln and Lana's face.

"But y'all bout to owe me."

Lincoln and Lana shared a worried glance, then Lana looked at Dino, her eyes flicking shamefully down. As Lincoln watched in horror, she walked to the mesh on her knees. "Uh...what do you want?" she asked. She'd suck him if she absolutely had to, but she hoped to God he didn't want that.

"Bitch, get yo Dennis the Menace lookin ass out my grill," Dino said and waved her off. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. Whew. "Imma lotta things, but I ain't no pedo. I dunno what I want, but keep yo'selves ready cuz one day Imma call on yo asses. Feel me?"

Lincoln and Lana both nodded eagerly; anything to keep his silence.

"Now get the fuck up out my ball pit."

* * *

That evening, Lola Loud sat at her vanity and brushed her long, silky hair in slow, even strokes. She wore a flimsy pink nightgown under a robe and fuzzy slippers that tickled the soft skin of her feet. Her glossed lips shimmered in the light cast by the bulbs surrounding the mirror and her blue shadowed eyes stared at her reflection, wondering, for the millionth time that day, what Lincoln saw in _Lana_ of all people.

Umhm, she knew _all_ about them. They thought they were slick, but they weren't; she saw the way they acted with one another, always touching and cuddling and _yuck._ That was her first clue, her second came when she woke up one night to find Lana's bed empty...for the second time. Once is a coincidence or something, two times is _not_. Her third clue followed on the heels of the second - she got up and went into the hall to look for Lana and heard noises coming from Lincoln's room. She pressed her ear to the door and listened, then drew back with a gasp when she heard Lana moaning like Mom did when she and Dad were having "alone time" in their room. _Ew, gross!_ Lola didn't know much about sex, but she _did_ know that you're not supposed to do it with your siblings. *Shiver*

She _was_ going to tell, but decided to take mercy on them - it was _way_ nasty, but despite being kind of a bitch, she _did_ love her siblings and didn't want to see them, like, go to jail or anything. She'd just ignore it.

Only she couldn't, it was like a trainwreck - first, because _ew, incest,_ then, as she watched them more and more, because _ew, Lana? Really? Why don't you go out with someone else? Someone like...me?_

Yes, she liked Lincoln too now. Shut up. It was part watching them together and part trying to figure out what they saw in each other. To this day she couldn't for the life of her puzzle out why Lincoln liked grody Lana, but she knew _exactly_ why she liked him: He was kind, gentle, considerate, _very_ cute, and always did whatever you told him to. What more can you ask for in a man?

In other words, he was perfect, and even though he was her brother, Lola didn't care: She was the type of girl who wanted what she wanted and that was it.

Now came the hard part - getting him away from Lana.

And when she said hard, she didn't mean _hard_ as in it would be difficult to do: She was pretty, stylish, and while not as experienced as Lana sexually, more than willing to do whatever he wanted - anything to win the prize. It would be hard because she doubted he'd want to "cheat" on Lana. Humph.

She'd been thinking of ways to lure him away, and was pretty sure she had it: All she had to do was drive him so out of his mind he wouldn't think twice about throwing her to the bed and ravishing her- like a knight and a princess in a dirty fairytale. She saw herself lying back on satin sheets with one leg cocked and Lincoln worshipping her body with his lips, his kisses trailing down her throat and over her shoulder, his hands brushing along her sides, pushing the hem of her dress up her hips and baring her nakedness - she would strip for him and him alone, showing him _everything,_ letting him _touch_ everything, and _taste_ everything.

Ummm, that thought made her feel warm and tingling from the tips of her pink-polished toes to the rigid nipples of her budding breasts. She slowly licked her lips and narrowed her eyes seductively. "Come here, Lincy~" she told her reflection. "I wanna play with you." She winked and giggled. She had this on lock.

"Tomorrow," she said, "Lincoln will be _mine_."


	2. Cold Lunch

Saturday morning, Lincoln Loud grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat across from Lori at the dining room table; she scrolled through her phone with a distasteful frown, her thumb flicking up, up, ever up. It was early, and so far they were the only ones awake. Lincoln would still be asleep too, but he woke up when Lana slipped out of bed and went back to her own room at six, and though he tried, he just couldn't drop off. She only slept in his room on Fridays and Saturdays to cut on on the risk of being caught, but he'd grown accustomed to having her next to him; with her in his arms and his nose buried in her hair, he slept like a baby, but without her, he slept like shit...if he slept at all. Of course, sometimes when she slept over, they didn't sleep very much anyway - one thing about Lana, even though you might think she'd like it fast and rough, she liked it slow with lots of foreplay and build up. A few times, he spent literally the entire night bringing her to the edge, then drawing back, then again and again until she couldn't take it anymore: One thrust and she came so hard she shook like a holy roller in the throes of pentecost, trembling praises falling from her lips. _Lincoln, God, Jesus, fuck!_

Lincoln loved nights like those.

Presently, he skimmed his spoon across the surface of his cereal and collected a few fat puffs of processed sugar, his head turning when Lola swept into the room like a queen, her head tilted back and her nose held high. She wore a flowing pink dress, pink shoes, and a silver tiara situated exactingly on top of her blonde head; her hair spilled down her shoulders like strands of silk and she cast her soft brown eyes on him with a smirk. For some reason, Lincoln felt a rush of apprehension. "Morning, Lincy~" she purred.

"Morning," he said.

She stopped behind him, laid her hands on his shoulders, and bent, her hot breath puffing against his ear and sending goosebumps racing up his arms. "How did you sleep?" she asked, and even though it was a normal, inoffensive question - as common as _what do you do for work?_ And _Nice weather we're having, huh?_ Lincoln couldn't help but detect a hint of suggestion. Lori looked up from her phone, lifted a quizzical brow, then shook her head and went back to staring at the screen.

Wait. Was she subtly telling him that she knew about him and Lana?

His heart dropped into his stomach like a chunk of ice and he reflexively turned his head, his cheek brushing against her lips and making him wince. "G-Good, you?"

Lola's eyes glinted with a knowing light, and her pink lips turned sharply up. Oh, God, she _must_ know. "Ummm, I was kind of lonely," she said and pulled back, those three words hitting Lincoln's heart like fifty thousand volts and frying his nervous system. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man; Lola was one of the _last_ people he and Lana wanted knowing about them - she'd either outright tattle or blackmail them both to kingdom come. He opened his mouth to speak, but his vocal cords were frozen. Sensing his distress, she giggled and ran her gloved fingers through his hair, then floated off into the kitchen, her sultry eyes watching him over her shoulder and her hips swishing back and forth. Lincoln gaped after her, too horrified to move. See how she was acting? She was playing with him like a cat with a mouse, batting and swatting before moving in for the kill.

This was _not_ good.

He was shaking now, literally shaking, and his heart slammed so hard against his ribs he could hear it echoing in his skull. He tried to get up and flee, but his knees gave out and he dropped back to the chair. Lori looked at him and cocked her brow. "You alright, Linc?"

"Y-Yeah," he stammered, "just, uh, this cereal isn't agreeing with me." He flashed a wan smile and threw a nervous glance at the kitchen; Lola stood at the island pouring Sugar Bits into a bowl. Perhaps feeling his gaze on her back, she turned her head and smiled slyly. _I know all your dirty little secrets, Lincy,_ it said, _and I will use them against you._

Swallowing thickly, he pushed up from the table and kept his legs under him this time; his steps were shaky, though, and when he reached the bottom of the stairs, out of sight, he leaned heavily against the newel post.

Alright. He didn't know for sure that she knew about him and Lana, he was just going off body language and innuendo. Lola had a way of acting sweet and almost flirty when she was up to something. She'd bat her eyelashes and speak in her most saccharine tone...then jam a freaking knife into your back. How she acted back there was alarming, but nothing more: She also did that when she wanted something, so maybe she was buttering him up. Or maybe his guilty concious was leading him to jump at shadows.

Yeah. That last one. Had to be it. God, he _hoped_ it was, otherwise...oh, man, oh, man, Lola would turn him and Lana into her personal slaves for all eternity, or her pets, or make them do her evil bidding. He should tell Lana.

He started up the stairs, but stopped.

Actually, maybe he shouldn't. Again, he wasn't certain she knew, and he didn't want to freak Lana out for no reason.

He needed to talk to Lola, feel her out and see if she did, or if there was another reason for her being sweet.

He leaned over the bannister and peered into the the dining room just as Lola sat in the chair he so recently vacated, back straight, shoulders out, prim and proper, like a queen taking her throne. A ball of sudden and disconcerting anger formed in his chest, and his nails dug roughly into the wood rail - Lola was _always_ doing this: Blackmailing people, threatening people, snitching on people, she could be such a _monster_. Normally he just took it, but this wasn't _normally,_ Lana was on the line, and...and…

A vision flashed across his mind: Him punching Lola in the mouth. Her head whipped to one side and she stumbled back, spitting blood and bits of broken teeth onto the carpet. _Tell on us and I'll kill you,_ he said, and that snapped him back to himself, cold, aching dread slithering through his something like a slimy abomination through the depths of a dark sea. The daydream horrified him...but also exhilarated him. Imagine how _satisfying_ it would be to pop her in the face when she tried that _I'm telling Dad unless…_ stuff.

God, she was his little sister though! She might be annoying, and she might even deserve it, but he could _never_ hit her.

Could he?

Suddenly, he wasn't one hundred percent sure, and that disturbed him.

He…

...he needed to be alone.

* * *

After breakfast, Lana knelt in the middle of her bed and stared down at her new phone, a black and chrome Galaxy S9 with a screwdriver decal on the battery cover. Lola got one just like it, only hers was pink and girly, yuck. When she opened it yesterday at her party, she went through the roof - she begged and begged for this dumb thing and was almost certain she wouldn't get it because it was so expensive.

She wasn't into technology - unless it had to do with building stuff - she just wanted extra memory: She downloaded a _lot_ of porn, and her last phone got so full she couldn't anymore, and that was a bummer. The S9 had _so_ much more storage space, though, and right now she was breaking 'er in by downloading videos from her favorite site: Scatopia . com.

"Oooh, I _love_ this one," she told Hopps, who sat perched on her shoulder. She tapped the PLAY symbol with her thumb, and the screen was filled with a woman's butt, her boyfriend's thing thrust back and forth, back and forth...wait for it, wait for it...BOOM, liquidy poop sprayed out around his shaft and dripped onto the floor like brown rain. He pulled out and shot his load onto her butt crack, his cum mixing with her poo and dribbling down between her cheeks. Lana's face burned and her heartbeat quickened. She turned to look at Hopps and grinned. "I really want Lincoln to do that to _me_." She hit SAVE with a sigh and added it to her secret, password protected folder - the one with all of her other dirty stuff, a vast Library of Congress sized collection of pics and vids depicting the most repulsive sex acts allowed by law. It was called STUFF I WANNA DO WITH MY BROTHER. She chose _my brother_ rather than Lincoln because it sounded so, so much dirtier. She showed him most of it and told him how much she wanted to try some of them, and his mouth said _maybe,_ but his nauseous green face said _no._ Sigh. She guessed they didn't _have_ to, but she wanted to so bad it hurt - she was like a grody, disgusting flower, and instead of rain, she needed poop, pee, and puke to keep her from wilting. He _did_ say he was willing to try it, so...where should she start? Sex in public was bust, and she had to ease him into it. Hmmm.

Exiting out of Scatopia, she typed _gross sex acts_ into Google and clicked the first link, which lead to a list: THE TOP 5 GROSSEST SEX ACTS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER SHOULD (NOT) TRY. The first one was the good ole Kentucky Klondike Bar. She'd considered that - since that was one he could do to her - but she wasn't sure that was the best place to begin. Number 2 was the Panamanian Petting Zoo, which is often combined with the Kentucky Klondike Bar - it's where you take all the nuts and corn and stuff out of a bowl of poo, throw them onto the floor, and have your partner eat them like a zoo animal. That one _really_ got her motor going, but for right now, she was going to go for something that didn't involve poo.

Ahhh, number three: The Cold Lunch.

There were more, but her core pinched and her stomach knotted - yep, she wanted to do this one. And while she would take no for an answer, he'd have to say it _really_ loud.

Laying her phone on the nightstand, she got up and sat Hopps on the bed. "BRB, boy, I'm gonna go have me a cold lunch."

Hopps tilted his head quizzically. _Say what, Lana?_

She giggled. "I'll tell you all about it later." She patted his head then went into the hall, looking left and right - Luna was shredding her guitar in hers and Luan's room, Leni and Lori were at the mall, and Lynn was off playing football with some boy down the street (Lana wondered if they were playing _other_ kinds of ball too, wink wink).

Coast clear, she scurried to Lincoln's door, threw one last look over her shoulder, then slipped inside, closing it behind her. Lincoln was sitting on the edge of his bed with a video game controller in his hands - on TV, a car lay on its hood and sirens blared. He glanced over and grinned. "Hey," he said in a bemused tone, "I thought you were playing with your phone."

Lana thumbed the lock and grinned devilishly. "I was. Now I wanna play with _you_."

A boyish grin touched Lincoln's lips and his cheeks turned a light shade of red. "Oh?"

Biting her bottom lip, Lana nodded.

Lincoln paused the game, tossed the controller on the floor, then started to lay back, but Lana stopped him. "Stay there. I, uh, I wanna try something." She rubbed her upper arm and darted her eyes to her feet - moment of truth, let's see if he goes for it.

"What?" he asked...kiiiind of sharply.

Lana took a deep, steadying breath through her nose and looked up at him. "It's called the Cold Lunch," she said.

Lincoln hung his head.

"It's not _that_ bad," she hastened to add, "plus, you're doing it to me, so it's not like anything gross is gonna happen to _you_. Please, Linc? I really wanna do this."

He lifted his head - her eyes were big and shimmery with beseeching, like a kitten's; she stuck her bottom lip out, and that was it - his resolve crumbled. "Alright," he sighed, already knowing he was going to do whatever she asked of him...and probably regret it. "What does it involve?"

Lana's face lit up, and she bounced happily over; she dropped to her knees in front of him, whipped her hat off - freeing her messy blonde hair - and tossed it aside. "First," she explained, "you put your dick in my mouth."

Okay, he liked where this was going.

She reached for his crotch, found the zipper tab with expert precision, and pulled it down; he undid the button and pulled the flaps apart with shaky fingers, his dick already stirring.

Hooking her fingers into the waistband of his briefs, she tugged them down; his inflating member popped out, and a salacious smile crept across her lips. She wetted them, then placed a soft, fleeting kiss to the head that made it twitch. She rolled her dirty eyes up to him and drew a deep breath through her nose, savoring his musky scent. She did that every time she went down on him, and watching her relish it as though it were the best thing in the world was so arousing he could hardly stand it. She wrapped her fingers around the shaft and stroked slowly up, then down. He threw his head back and fisted the blanket in his hands - his heart gently pounded and his hips squirmed as if on their own accord. The Lola-centered dread and worry he'd been nursing since that morning melted away and -

Wait a minute.

He looked down at her - she stared reverently at his cock, her fingers skimming its shape and her lips quivering in hungry passion. "What _else?"_

She glanced up, her eyes muddled - she was drunk on him, her mind addled, brain slow. "Huh?"

"What else does the C-Cold Lunch involve?" His voice hitched because, God, the name even _sounded_ gross.

Lana flickered her eyes back to his dick and hesitated. "Lana?"

She scrunched her lips to the side as if debating whether she should tell him or not. He sighed deeply and bowed his head. When he and Lana...got together, he was in a really dark place: His heart was broken, his soul was crushed, and he kind of hated himself. Lana came to him in his hour of need like an angel, her hand out and her heart filled with love, love that she gave unconditionally. He appreciated that more than she would ever know, more than he could ever hope to express. Doing the stuff with her that she wanted was the _least_ he could do - but come on, have you _heard_ what's she into? Ugh.

Looking into her big, anxious eyes, though, he would do anything that it took to make her happy and to show her that he loved her with his entire heart, soul, and mind.

Reaching out, he ran his fingers through her hair and offered her a loving smile. "Just tell me. I promise I'll do it, Lana. Whatever it is."

Those words tasted bitter in his mouth, but his mind was made up - he'd do it. He might not like it, but as long as Lana was happy, _he_ would be happy.

She broke out in a sunny, gap-toothed smile. "Okay," she chirped giddily, "I go down on you and you…" she trailed off, her eyes wide.

Lincoln gulped. "I what?"

"Puke on the back of my head."

Lincoln's face fell. "Really?"

She nodded eagerly.

Sigh. He _did_ say anything, though the prospect of puking on the back of her head was somehow just as disturbing as the idea of punching Lola in the face. When you love someone - when they're beautiful and precious to you - there are certain things you just don't do to them, and intentionally throwing up on them is _preeeeetty_ high on the list.

But it's what she wanted - from the look on her face, it's what she _really_ wanted.

"Alright," he said, "I'll, uh, I'll puke on you."

She emitted a happy _eeeee_ through her teeth and started to stroke him faster. "Thanks, Lincoln."

"You're welcome," he said.

She lifted up a little and pressed her soft, wet lips to his tip, then, looking him in the eyes, she bobbed down, taking him deep into her warm mouth. His breath caught and he clawed the blanket, his toes curling inside of his shoes. Lana laid her hands on his knees and worked her tongue along the underside of his shaft; she reached his base and pulled up, her lips molding tight to his aching flesh and hot saliva sliding down his length in burning trails. Lincoln threaded his fingers through her hair and gently guided her up and down, up and down, his eyes rolling back into his head.

Breaking away, she looked up at him, her cheeks blushing and her chest heaving; a silvery mix of drool and precum dripped down her chin and fell dropped onto the front of her overalls. "If you can, do it the same time you cum, okay?"

Huh?

Then he remembered, and his stomach panged with dread. Oh, yeah; I have to puke on her *shudder*

"Yeah," he nodded, "okay."

She took him in her mouth once more and kneaded his knees with her fingertips, her pace faster this time, her lips sliding up and down his rod, gripping it, stroking it, smearing their hot fluids along it. Lincoln stared down at her with a mixture of lust and foreboding - every fiber of his being screamed at him not to do this, but it's what Lana wanted, so…

Clamping down on his knees, she went faster still, and Lincoln could feel his orgasm beginning to well up from his depths. He grazed his nails over her scalp, which she loved, and her tiny frame trembled; she pulled to his head and went down, pulled back, then down, her tongue lapping and swirling around his tightening member. He was close, his climax swelling like a lead balloon in his stomach.

Alright. Uh...go time, I guess.

He leaned over and swallowed nervously. Lana's head bobbed up and down in a frenzied rhythm, her hands squeezing his kneecaps and her thumbs rubbing tender circles against his skin. Lincoln tentatively opened his mouth and contracted his chest muscles with a dry retch. Lana went faster still, humming in excited anticipation. Lincoln gagged again, trying to produce the vomit his little sister so desperately wanted but failing. He had to do something quick, because he was seconds away from cumming - so far gone that he couldn't stop it from happening but not so far gone that it was going to happen this second.

Her head: Up and down, up and down, her lips making sweet love to him, her tongue writing heartfelt epistles on his body - he even imagined he could make out words. _I love you, Lincoln, you mean everything to me._

She meant everything to him too…

Which is why, just as his orgasm uncoiled and filled her mouth, he leaned over, jammed his fingers down his throat, and sprayed the back of her head with vomit, the hot, rank smell choking the air. It was white and thin, clogged with mushy, regurgitated bits of cereal, and splattered her hair with a wet plopping sound, soaking it and coursing down the back and sides of her neck in acidic rivulets. She stroked down to his base and held onto his knees as he pumped another wad against the back of her throat, then a third; instead of swallowing like she usually did, she pulled back, spat it into her hands, then rubbed it across her face ike thick, creamy lotion.

Spent and knees shaking, Lincoln held fast to the bed and watched in a mixture of horror and concupiscence as she threw her head back and massaged his sperm into her skin, her slitted eyes fixed on him and her lips parted lavisciously. She raked her fingers slowly through her sodden hair, pulling out the bands holding it up and freeing her pigtails - it spilled limply over her shoulders, and her bangs swept across her forehead, droplets of vomit dripping onto the tip of her nose and a piece of cereal sliding down her cheek. "Ummm," she purred. "It's so hot and gross."

Lincoln gaped - it _was_ gross, but, God help him, he'd never seen her more alluring in his life, and if his sack hadn't just been emptied, he'd throw her onto the bed and do her.

She took a deep, contented breath and looked at him with sparkling eyes; her grin was slinky and sinister, her her front teeth clamping her bottom lip and her hands resting on her knees. "Did you like it?"

Yes. No. Maybe? He couldn't say he enjoyed the physical act of throwing up on her, but seeing how much she enjoyed it was endlessly gratifying. "Yeah," he said with a jerky nod.

"I liked it too," she said and swiped the tip of her tongue across her lips, catching stray and translucent beads of cum. She pushed herself up on his knees, leaned in, and pecked him on the cheek, a strand of puke-soaked hair brushing his chin and leaving a slimy snail-trail in its wake. Ew, gross; ew, gross. "Thank you," said whispered.

"You're welcome," he said,

She caressed the side of his face, then turned and left, poking her head out into the hall before disappearing and pulling the door closed behind her. For a moment Lincoln sat there, his flaccid dick lying limp against the waistband of his jeans, then he sighed.

Yeah, he couldn't lie, he _did_ kind of like it.

He just hoped she didn't wanna do anything worse.

* * *

In her room, Lana kicked her shoes off, crossed to the bed, and flopped onto her back, her arms flying out and her toes wiggling happily in her socks; a blissful smile lay upon her lips, and her pussy tingled with warmth - she didn't realize it until she stood, but she leaked into her underwear a _lot_ : The crotch was soaked and pinched between her folds, and with every step she took from Lincoln's room to here, they chafed and rubbed against her sticky thighs. She was _really_ aroused, but she kind of liked denying herself release...and _really_ liked it when Lincoln did it. UrbanDictionary called it "edging" because you come to the very edge of orgasm….then get pulled back; after doing it so many times, your orgasm, when it finally _did_ come, was so intense it was like being cooked in the electric chair. Ummm.

 _RIbbt._

Lana glanced to her left: Hopps sat on the nightstand.

"It was _awesome,"_ she said dreamily. "See?" She tapped one tacky cheek with her index finger for emphasis: Lincoln's cum was starting to harden. When it was fully dry, she could give herself a Mexican Pancake; that's where you peel dried cum off your face and eat it.

Hopps leapt onto the bed and looked her up and down - her hair was undone and messy, her face glistened wetly in the warm autumn sunlight streaming through the window, and the stench of intestines wafted up from her in metaphorical green stink lines. She felt totally disgusting, and she loved it.

She lifted her shoulders, squeezed her eyes closed, and hummed happily. What should they try next? Something a little higher on the gross-o-meter, or on the same level? She really wanted to do something with poop, but it might be a little soon...though, he might go for giving her an Alabama Hot Pocket - when you poo in a girl's pussy and then stuff it deep into her with your dick. He didn't have to do that last part, though; she'd be happy with just him pooping on it. Loose and hot and watery and smelling like butt...oh, mama, that's sexy!

Oooh, oooh! What about wolfbagging? That's when you swallow a piece of bacon attached to a string then let the boy put his thing in your butt. Before he cums, he yanks the string and makes you puke, thereby causing your butt muscles to tighten around his dick which feels _really_ good for both of you. Sharing said bacon afterwards was optional - she didn't think he'd want any, but she kind of hoped he did. After all, what's more intimate than eating something that's been in your lover's stomach?

Uh, nothing!

Hm, he'd probably be okay with doing that one, but now that she was thinking of it, she kinda wanted him to piss on her. And she wanted to piss on him too. She envisioned both of them in their underwear, her straddling his lap, their sexes grinding through the fabric, his bulge rubbng between her lower lips and stoking her fire, pushing her to the edge...then her bladder releases and warm, wet pee fills her panties. He pees too, and the heat of their combined wee knocks her into the biggest orgasm of her life - shaking, sputtering, eyes rolling back into her head…

She looked at Hopps and grinned. "There's so many gross sex acts, and so little time." She rolled onto her side, propped her face in her hand, and scrunched her lips to one side. "You think we can mix and match 'em?"

 _Ribbit._

Lana nodded. "Yeah, that _would_ be hot." She stroked the tip of her index finger between his eyes. "That's why I like you, boy. You're like the gay best friend in one of those dumb _Sex in the City_ shows Lori watches; I can talk to you about _anything_."

Hopps narrowed his eyes and ribbited indiganty.

Lana blinked. "I didn't mean to say you're gay, just that…"

Hopps croaked, turned, and jumped onto the floor. Lana sat up and watched him hop into the hall. "Hey! I didn't mean…" she trailed off when Lisa walked by the door and stopped. Uh-oh. Lisa _hated_ incest, and she was really mad at her and Lincoln for being together - she wouldn't talk to them (except to be a bitch) and whenever she saw her and Lincoln together she clucked her tongue and stalked off. She hadn't told Mom and Dad, though. _You two buffoons will slip up sooner and later, and I'd rather have the satisfaction of knowing that one of you brought about the apocalypse of your relationship than doing it myself. That way you'll have no one but yourself to blame._ Lana didn't know _why_ Lisa was so against it, but she was, and being around her was _really_ uncomfortable these days.

Tensing, Lana darted her eyes away from her little sister's and found something else to look at - hey, dresser, you're looking buff today.

"Lana?" Lisa asked, and Lana reluctantly glanced at her. "What is on your face?"

Damn it. She was supposed to be nearsighted or something (which is basically blind, right?), but she was like one of those guys on _CSI:_ She could spot a strand of hair across the room and instantly know it didn't belong. "Uhhh, nothing," Lana said, and fought the urge to rub the back of her neck - that'd make her look guilty.

Lisa crossed her arms sternly and furrowed her brows. "That's a goddamn lie. It's seminal fluid, isn't it?"

Lana's heart dropped. Wow, she's good. "Uh, w-well…"

The little genius drew a sharp, angry breath. "Lana, the fact that you are waltzing around the house covered in your brother's semen…" she trailed off, held up her hand, and shook her head. "You're disgusting, Lana, and I am ashamed of you. Lincoln as well; you carry on like two hillbillies in a bad erotica novel and actually have the audacity to call what you do _love._ "

Lisa's words plunged deep into Lana's heart like the steely blade of a knife and twisted. She winced...then her face hardened as her chest clutched like an angry fist. It was one thing to call them hillbillies, but implying that she didn't really love Lincoln was going _waaaaay_ too far. Lincoln was the most important thing in her world - he was the sunshine of her day, the air she breathed, and the blood in her veins. Lincoln meant everything to her - he was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she thought about before she went to sleep; being away from him was like suffocating, and when she saw his face, her heart beat real fast and her stomach did crazy backflips.

How _dare_ this little bitch say that?

"It _is_ love," Lana said tightly.

Lisa hissed through her teeth. "No it isn't - you're a sick and confused little girl and Lincoln is so desperate for romantic love and affection that he'd settle for getting it from his own sister. You are both mentally ill."

Rage swept through Lana like a wildfire, and her hands balled into fists - it all made her mad, but that thing about Lincoln…

"I'm about to knock you out," Lana growled, not realizing what she was saying until she heard them for herself. Lisa's eyes narrowed, and for a long moment they stared each other down like two outlaws in an old western. Lana had never once considered hitting her own little sister, but she was shocked to find that she meant it - she'd punch Lisa into next Tuesday if she ever said that stuff again.

Lisa opened her mouth as if to speak, and Lana came so close to jumping and going after her that every muscle in her body twitched, and she could _literally_ feel herself doing it - storming across the room, drawing back her fist, hitting Lisa with a devastating haymaker. She didn't get the chance, though; instead of signing her own death warrant, the little bitch shook her head and walked away, mumbling under her breath.

"That's what I thought!" Lana called after her. When she was alone, she spun around and punched her pillow as hard as she could. Why was Lisa such a bitch? It wasn't any of her dumb business what she and Lincoln did, and she had no right to keep teasing them about it.

Restless energy surged through her and she punched the pillow again and again, her face hard. Hopps appeared on the nightstand, done with his hissy fit, and watched her curiously. "Sometimes I really hate her, boy," she said and jabbed the pillow one final time. She turned and crossed her arms, her eyes falling on Lola, who came in while Lana wasn't looking; she stood in the middle of the room with her head down and one brow arched like an impatient question mark.

"I know you're not talking about _me_ ," Lola said.

"No,' Lana replied sullenly, "Lisa."

Understanding dawned in Lola's eyes, and she nodded slowly...patronizingly. "Ah. What did Dr. Frankenbitch do this time?"

Lana opened her mouth but closed it again, She had a bad habit of letting things slip when she was in a state of high passion, and a couple times, angry from one of Lisa's barbs or because hers and Lola's Jeep was a Japanese made hunk of junk that broke down every time you looked at it, she almost said something about her and Lincoln. She always caught herself, though, because what she had with him with _that_ important to her. "Just being a bitch," Lana said.

Humming her indifference, Lola flitted to the closet and opened it. "That's Lisa for you. She thinks she's better than everyone else because _ohh, look at me, I have a lab._ " She threw her hands up and wiggled her fingers. "Humph. She's ugly and has the social skills of a wasp; she's in for a _lot_ of lonely Saturday nights when she's in high school. Which is why I don't let her bother me." She leaned into the closet and rummaged around.

You know, she was actually right - Lisa was not popular in school and probably never would be. Hehehehe, the kids in her class called her poindexter, and it made her so mad she'd shake, tear up, and start cussing, which always got her sent to the principal's office.

Still, she was a fucking asshole and Lana was real sick of her shit.

Hopps jumped into her lap and looked up at her.

 _Ribbit?_

Lana's stomach rumbled. "Yeah, I'm kind of hungry too."

She picked the frog up, tucked him into her chest pocket, and got to her feet. At the door, Lola stopped her. "Oh, Lana, dear, I have a question."

Lana stopped. "Yeah?"

Lola held up her hands. In one was a pink see through dress thing and in the other a purple half-dress something-of-other with black fringe. She batted her eyelashes. "Which do you think L...I mean, a boy would like better?" She smirked condesencindly, and Lana got the impression that her sister was somehow taunting her...but pushed it away. She was just pissed at Lisa, that was all.

"Uh...I dunno, the pink one. That's more your color." She chose it at random - she wasn't good with girly stuff. It all kinda looked the same to her: Dumb.

Lola looked from one to the other, hummed, then turned. "Alright. You're dismissed."

Oh, gee, thanks, your highness.

Hehehe. Your hindass.

She went out into the hall and down the stairs, turning around the newel post and freezing when someone knocked on the door. The living room stood empty as a tomb on judgement day - answering it fell to her then.

Turning, she went over, Hopps croaking indignantly. "Wait a minute, boy, sheesh. You act like I never feed you."

That was kind of an insult - she took _very_ good care of Hopps, thank you very much. She fed him, played with him, watered him...she even found him a girl frog to do sex stuff with - she lived down the street at Jimmy Turner's house and belonged to his creepy older brother Arnold. Is that something a not-good-taker-care-of would do?

She unlocked the handle and turned it, pulling the door open and starting. A wall of suit filled the frame.

Dinosaur suit, blue with shiny scales and a big brown oval on its chest and stomach.

She craned her neck up, and Dino looked down at her.

Then her eyes…

Went to…

The suitcase in his hand.

"Just the lil blonde nigga I was lookin for," he said, "I need a favor."


	3. In Da House

**Guest: Actually, I have a Lori x Lincoln story finished, I just haven't uploaded it yet. I don't know when I will because I have, like, four full length stories and a couple of oneshots finished and waiting to be posted.**

 **Guest: The more you pester me about writing Elisa Combs's ideas, the less I want to do them.**

* * *

 **Lyrics to** _ **California Love**_ **by 2Pac (1995)**

"Lincoln!" Lana called over her shoulder, her eyes never leaving the mascot before her. He seemed taller than he did at The Pizza Dungeon, and broader, too, towering, hulking, his shoulders wide and his legs long. He _had_ to be seven feet at least, maybe even seven-five. He stared down at her like she was a mildly distasteful bug and at any moment he was going to stop tolerating her, lift one giant foot, and _splat,_ no more Lana Loud. "Lincoln!"

"What?" her brother's voice drifted down the stairs - there was a note of impatience like she interrupted him.

She swallowed when Dino shifted his weight. "Uh, we have a situation!"

A moment later, footsteps sounded on the stairs. "What?" Lincoln asked worriedly. "Is it -" he cut off when he presumably caught sight of their guest. She hazarded looking away from Dino, and spotted Lincoln at the bottom of the steps, his eyes wide and his mouth open in a perfect O of surprise. "D-Dino?" he asked.

Dino sniffed. "Nah, nigga, it's Ronald McDonald. Can I come in?"

Lana turned her head back to the gargantuan. She wasn't the smartest girl in the world, but she had enough deductive reasoning skills to know what him turning up at their door with a suitcase meant. Even so, she asked, "W-Why?"

Dino sneered. "Cuz Imma either stay at yo house, or Imma tell yo mom and dad what I caught y'all asses doin in my ball pit."

Drawing horror came over Lana like the terrors of death; she stepped aside so quickly that her feet tangled and she almost fell. "C-Come in," she said and flashed a sheepish smile, throwing her arm out in a _right this way_ gesture.

"Umhm, that's what I thought," Dino said and stepped across the threshold, ducking under the frame. If possible, he looked even bigger now, his head bare feet from brushing the ceiling. Lana jerked a glance at Lincoln, who was frozen with his hand resting on the newel post.

Coming alive, he shook his head. "U-Uh, M-Mr. Dino, what, uh, what, uh, what brings you by?" He offered a big, nervous grn. "Not that we're not, uh, h-happy to see you."

Looking around and appraising what he saw, Dino nodded appreciatively and dropped the suitcase onto the floor. "My girl kicked me out the house. Caught me eatin another bitch pussy and started trippin." He shook his head in disbelief. " I need a place to chill til she stop." He went over to the couch and sat; it bowed and groaned under his weight, and Lana winced, expecting it to snap in two like a toothpick. It held, though - just barely.

Lana and Lincoln looked at each other, the same thought passing between them. _This isn't good_. They owed him, Lana knew, but this was too much. Lana flicked her eyes to Dino then to Lincoln. _Get rid of him_. Lincoln's face paled and he shook his head, his hands raising defensively, palms out. Lana bared her teeth. _Yes_ she mouthed.

Bending forward, Dino snatched the remote from the coffee table, kicked his feet up, and turned the TV on. "Y'all got cable?" He pressed a random button, and a menu popped up on the screen. "Oh, shit, y'all got _Dish?_ What channel BET?"

Lana glared at Lincoln, then stalked over. "He can't stay here," she hissed. "Mom and Dad will never go for it."

Rap music blasted from the speakers. "Oh, shit," Dino said, "there go Pac."

 _Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west_

 _A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness_

 _The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest_

 _Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex_

Dino bobbed his head back and forth, one hand throwing up gang signs and his shoulders shrugging up and down. Yeah, this was _not_ gonna work. Lana looked at Lincoln. "W-We can lie," he said.

"Lie?" she demanded.

He nodded. "Yeah, I-I have a plan."

 _Diamonds shining looking like I robbed Liberace_

 _It's all good, from Diego to the Bay_

 _Your city is the bomb if your city making pay_

 _Throw up a finger if ya feel the same way_

 _Dre putting it down for Californ-I-A_

Dino vibed to the beat, then turned it all the way up - soundwaves blew Lana's hat off and made hers and Lincoln's faces ripple like they were on a rollercoaster. Oh, no, Dad was -

"Turn that music down!" Dad called from the top of the stairs, and Lana's heart sank into her stomach. She panicked and hurried over to Dino, reaching for the remote. He held it up and swatted her away.

"Nah, fuck you, nigga."

 _Out on bail fresh outta jail, California dreaming_

 _Soon as I stepped on the scene, I'm hearing hoochies screaming_

 _Fiending for money and alcohol_

 _The life of a west side player where cowards die and the strong ball_

 _Only in Cali where we riot not rally to live and die_

Lincoln jumped when his father's voice spoke behind him. "Lincoln, turn that cra -" he cut off when he saw Dino dancing in his seat, twisting back and forth and making strange shapes with his fingers. Lana gave a shamefaced smile and Lincoln winced. You know...up until now, he would have said he never made a deal with the Devil, but it dawned on him that he had. "Uh, why is Dino in our house?" Lincoln could barely hear him over the music. He gestured to Lana, and she scurried over to the TV and yanked the plug out of the wall, plunging the room into silence.

Dino froze. "Yo, what the fuck?"

Lincoln turned to his father - he stood there with a scowl on his face and his hands on his hips, one foot tapping the floor. "H-Hey, Dad," he said nervously, "w-what's up?"

On the couch, Dino tossed the remote away and leaned back. "Man, y'all wack."

"Lincoln," Dad said, "explain what is going on right this instant."

Taking a deep breath, Lincoln said, "Well, it's, uh, it's part of the Pizza Dungeon's new birthday policy. Every kid who comes in on their birthday gets to have a, uh, a sleepover with Dino."

Dad's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Oh...really?"

Lana and Lincoln both nodded. "Yeah, Dad," Lana said, "y-you forgot?"

It was a heck of a gamble to imply that he knew in the first place, but one that paid off; he bunched his lips and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Uhhh, I guess I did," he said at length. He laughed. "Well, in that case, you kids have fun, and keep the music down." He looked at Dino. "Welcome to our home, Dino."

Dino held up one hand.

When Dad was gone, Lincoln let out a deep breath - he wasn't sure he was gonna buy it. His sisters called him _the man with a plan,_ but most of his plans blew up in his face. Not this one, though, whew.

Unless Dino wound up staying longer than one night.

Cold dread filled his throat, and he swallowed it. "Yo, can I get somethin to drink?" Dino asked.

"Yeah," Lincoln said at the same time Lana said, "Sure." Before Dino could stop them, they rushed off to the kitchen. "Nice one, Linc," Lana said when they were alone, her tone earnest. "Do you really want him hanging around, though?"

Lincoln shook his head. "No, not really, but I'd rather that than him tell Mom and Dad about us."

He had her there. "Something tells me he's gonna lord it over us," she said and shot a dirty look into the living room. "He's as bad as Lola."

"Lola knows?" Lincoln asked quickly.

"No," Lana said, "but you know darn well she'd blackmail us or something if she did."

Lola was the _queen_ of blackmailing people. One time she found the _Hustler_ Lana picked up at the dump and made her an ultimatum: Play tea party with her every day for a month of _I'll be forced to tell Mom and Dad about your...reading material._ She was the _last_ person Lana wanted knowing about her and Lincoln - after Mom and Dad of course. She'd even trust Lori more than Lola.

"Y-Yeah, she would," Lincoln said. Before Lana called him, he was actually planning to fo talk to Lola and try to ascertain what she knew. He just needed a pretense - she'd see right through him if he said he just wanted to chat or hang out. Sounding her out would have to wait for now - he and Lana had bigger fish to fry.

Like the seven foot tall dinosaur in their living room. "Yo, where my drink is?" he called.

Sighing, Lincoln went over to the fridge and opened the door. "We're just gonna have to deal with it and hope he makes up with his girlfriend." He reached in, grabbed a juice box, and shut the door. "It sounded like they argue a lot, so maybe it won't take long."

In the living room, Lincoln held out the juice box and Dino looked at it. "Nigga, what's this? Do I look like a juice drinkin nigga to you?" He snatched it away, ripped the straw out of its cellophane packet, and stabbed it into the hole. "Where my room at? I'm tryna chill."

Uh, well, now _that_ was something Lincoln hadn't had time to think of. The Loud house was home to thirteen people, and space was one of those precious commodities that was severely regulated, like food in a communist country. He _guessed_ he could -

Lana grinned and he lost his train of thought. He knew that look - she was up to something. And in a flash, he thought he knew what it was. "Follow us," she said.

"Ight." Dino got up and started toward the stairs, then stopped and looked at his suitcase. "Y'all gon get that?"

Seriously? Lincoln started to protest, but Lana drove her elbow into his guts, her toothy smile never wavering. _Get it, Linc, or he's gonna tell,_ he could hear her say. Fine. He went over, grabbed the handle, and lifted it off the floor.

At the top of the stairs, Lana went left then into her room. Yep, exactly where he thought she'd go. He followed, and Dino brought up the rear, looking left and right like he'd never seen a second story before. In the room, Lola sat at her vanity applying lipstick and gazing seductively at her reflection. She saw him in the glass and smiled. "Hi, Linc -"

Her words died when Dino came in. "Uh...what is _he_ doing here?"

Dino glanced at her and rolled his eyes - or at least Lincoln imagined he did, since he couldn't actually see them. "Oh, hell no. This little girl here too?"

Ignoring him, Lana rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the floor. "Uh, Dino's going to be, uh, spending the night. Since there's no room, he's gonna stay in my bed and I'm gonna bunk with Linc."

Lola's face dropped.

And so did Dino's. "Oh, uh-uh, y'all ain't puttin me in here with miss thang."

"I am _not_ staying in the same room as him," Lola spat. She got to her feet and wheeled around, her hands balling at her sides. "If you think I'm going to do that, you are _sorely_ mistaken, Lana Loud. Send him away."

Dino shook his head and Lana blushed deeply; Lincoln stood on the sidelines, not knowing what to do or say. "There's no room," Lana said, "and no one else will give up their bed for -"

Light flickered in Lola's eyes, and her lips settled into a smug little _eureka_ grin; Lincoln imagined Einstein looked the same way when he came up with the theory of relativity, or when Edison dreamed up the lightbulb. "I will," she said.

Lana blinked. "Uh...I don't….I don't know." She threw Lincoln a stricken _help-me-out-here_ glance, and he started to speak, but Lola cut him off.

"It's no big deal, really." Her voice was sugary sweet now, and Lincoln knew an instant that she had ulterior motives. Ulterior motives that involved her playing the part of the spider, and he the fly trapped in her web. _So, Lincy,_ he heard her say, _I know all about you and Lana. Let's make a deal._

Suddenly, the air was too hot, too stale, and the walls were closing in, getting closer and closer, looming, towering, threatening to squish him like gum on the sidewalk. He already made a deal with the Devil once, he didn't want to do it again.

"I-I don't want you to give up your bed," Lana said, "it's fine. I'm just gonna...sleep on the floor. And Linc's floor is _really_ gross, you wouldn't like it, it's grody, trust me." There was a desperate edge to her voice - she could tell Lola was up to something too, and she didn't like it one bit. If she fought _too_ hard though, it might look suspicious.

Did she know? Lana knew she could be sneaky, but she and Linc were _real_ careful - yeah, they cuddled up on the couch sometimes, but not like boyfriend and girlfriend level, not like they did when they were alone in Lincoln's room. How could -?

A terrible idea struck her.

What if _Lisa_ told her? Lisa was the only person in the world who knew (other than Lucy, but Lucy was totally cool with it), and it would be just like that four-eyed snake in the grass. Lana didn't know why or to what end, but she was suddenly sure that Lisa told Lola, or would if she hadn't already.

Her right hand closed in an angry, shaking fist.

And what did Lola want with Lincoln? To blackmail him?

Her _other_ fist closed.

One for each sister.

Lola closed her eyes and held up a forestalling hand. "I shan't hear of it, my darling sister. _I_ will sleep on Lincoln's floor and I will not be dissuaded - by dirt, dust, or debate."

"Well, one of y'all need to go cuz I'm tryna to stretch out," Dino said.

Lana considered telling Lola to sit her glittery fairy princess butt down, but decided against it: She might _not_ know, and fighting on this would draw unnecessary attention. "Fine," she said through her teeth. She turned to Dino and pointed at Lola's bed. "That's your bed. Go on."

Dino looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he brushed past her and dropped onto the bed, making it dip in the center. Humming a happy tune, Lola crossed to her dresser and opened one of the drawers. "Just let me grab my things, Lincy," she said.

Lincoln nodded jerkily and looked at Lana; she hung her head in disappointment and drew a heavy sigh. Stupid Dino, this was his fault.

"This bed soft," Dino said and bounced a little, "smell like perfume though." He crinkled his nose and noticed Lola's trophy case. "They give awards for bein a brat now? In my day they gave out ass whippins.""\

"I earned those through my beauty, thank you very much," Lola said. She shoved a few slips of clothing into a pink gym bag with a gold crown emblazoned on the side and zipped it up. She turned to Lincoln and smiled prettily. "All ready," she said and shrugged her shoulders cutely. Look at how fake she is, Lana thought; as soon as she had Lincoln alone she was gonna suck out his blood or something.

Lincoln smiled nervously. "Okay, uh, let's go get you settled in."

WIth a furtive and longing glance at Lana, he went to the door, and Lola followed. Before she left, she stopped and shot at withering look at Dino over her shoulder. "Don't even _think_ about touching my things."

Dino glanced at her nightstand and spotted a bottle of lotion. "Yo, like this?" He smacked it off and it landed on the carpet.

Lola's eyes blazed with loathing. "Yes," she hissed, "like _that_."

"Ight," he said and kicked his legs up onto the bed, one arm bending behind his head. "I feel you."

She glared at him, then _humphed_ , spun in a swish of blonde hair, and swept out of the room, the hem of her dress ripping around her knees like royal vestments. Lana watched her go with slitted eyes, then dropped onto the foot of her bed and fisted her hands in her lap - she didn't mean to pout, but she did anyway.

"Yo sista a bitch," Dino said and absently picked up a fashion magazine from Lola's nightstand. He opened it and scanned the page. "You chill, though. What'cho name?"

"Lana," Lana said sullenly.

Her first order of business was getting Lisa alone and finding out if she told Lola about her and Lincoln - and punch her lights out if she did.

Second - in either case - was Lola. If Lisa _did_ tell, she'd go to her twin and demand to know what she was planning. If she didn't like what she heard...heck, she'd beat _her_ up too. You don't get in-between Lana Loud and the boy she loves...ever. Lincoln was the most important thing in the world to her, and if fighting all of her sisters tournament style was what it took to protect their love, so be it.

"...need her ass whipped," Dino was saying. He reclined against the headboard with his right leg resting on his left knee. "My grandmama light that bitch _up_. You say shit to her, she smack yo mouth. Back talk, nigga, shit talk, nigga, just sayin _hi_ , nigga, uh-uh, you kept yo grill _shut_." He shook his head.

Third...she didn't know what the third order of business was, but given the mood she was in, it might very well involve being bonded out of jail. Grrrr, she was so mad she couldn't even think straight. Okay, deep breath, deep breath. What was that first thing again? Right, see Lisa.

Before she could get up, Lori passed by in the hall, eyes pointed at her phone like always. She looked up, saw Dino, and furrowed her brows. "Uh...Lana. Why is Dino in Lola's bed?"

"Oh, hey, girl," Dino said and tossed the magazine away. "I saw yo boyfriend at the gas station."

Lori blinked. "Uh...Bobby is not my boyfriend anymore and...why are you in my sister's…" she shook her head and held up her hand. "You know what? I literally don't care." She disappeared down the hall, and Lana took that as her cue; she got to her feet and went to the door.

"Yo, girl, where you goin?" Dino asked.

"I need to talk to one of my sisters," Lana said, "I'll be right back."

With that, she went to go meet, and possibly beat, Lisa.

* * *

Lincoln knelt beside his bed and reached underneath, his fingers creeping across the carpet in search of the extra comforter that he kept on hand for wintertime - money was tight so Dad kept the heat low. Remember that episode of Spongebob where Mr. Krabs bugged out every time someone touched his thermostat? Dad was the same way. _Ahhh, it's at 64 not 63.5! You're all grounded until I find out who did this!_

The mattress dipped when Lola sat, and he looked reflexively up; she crossed her legs at the knees and impatiently tapped one bare foot, her French tipped nails slicing through the air like ten little blades. His eyes went to her exquisitely-crafted ankle, up her defined calf, toned from years of practice and exercise ( _a beauty queen has to look her best_ ); her skin was smooth and bronze, and the hem of her dress, stopping well above her knees, laid against it like cloth against warm, tropical sand.

His throat went inexplicably dry and his eyes darted nervously to hers; they were hazel and translucent like a clear mountain stream, and when she was angry or sad, they muddled as if with silt, just like Lana's. Her hair, silky and like summer wheat, flowed over her shoulders and hung nearly to the small of her back, her silver tiara peeking out from its golden perch, inset with rubies, emeralds, and topaz. Her hair was like Lana's too, only longer and more yellow - Lana's was dirty with brown and nearly always up in pigtails while Lola's spilled free. Their faces were alike too, noses both pert and upturned, lips full and sensuous - all the better for kissing. The main difference was the tiny, tell-tale mole above the left corner of Lola's mouth. That's how you could tell them apart in a pinch - Lana had one, but it was on her right shoulder blade: Lincoln made a point to kiss it every time she took her shirt off.

"Hi, Lincy," Lola said, bringing him out of his reprieve. She wore a sly, gap-toothed smile. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and when she moved, the fine silver chain around her delicate throat rustled ever so slightly.

Blushing, Lincoln looked down at the floor. "I-I'm sure it's under here somewhere," he stammered, "I just...I was thinking maybe it wasn't." His heart hammered and his stomach turned like a tilt-a-whirl - she was so much like Lana it was easy to get them confused sometimes. Heh.

He reached under the bed and felt for the comforter, suddenly wanting to get as far away from his little sister as possible. When his fingers brushed it, he grabbed and pulled, bringing it out - it was soft and white with a red floral pattern. "H-Here it is," he said and got to his feet. He bent, picked it up, and tossed it onto the bed. Lola looked up at him with an inscrutable smirk, her brows lifting a fraction of an inch. "When it's time to go to bed, I'll lay it out on the floor. It's, uh, it's really comfy."

"Umm, thank you, Lincy," she said.

He flashed a smile. "N-No problem. I, uh, I-I gotta go."

Not giving her a chance to stop him, he turned and fled from the room; he didn't realize where he was going until he found himself in the living room. Sighing, he dropped onto the couch and held his head in his hands. Visions of Lola's lithe body danced suggestively through his head, and his stomach gurgled sickly.

It would be a lie to say he'd never looked at her - he had, and sometimes he wondered what she would look like with no clothes on: Her stomach taunt and her breasts beginning to blossom, not very big yet, just a handful, a warm, soft, fleshy handful. Would her nipples be dark like Lana's, or would they be pink? He imagined pink, blushing, like the tender bulb of a summer rose.

Entertaining those thoughts wracked him with guilt, and he tried so hard not to, but sometimes he couldn't help himself, and sometimes, when he was doing Lana, he pretended she was her.

I'm such a piece of shit. Lana's been so good to me, so kind and loving and understanding and everything else...and I repay her by drooling over Lola like a dog for a steak. Lola. The _queen_ of mean. Where Lana was sweet and loving, Lola was bitter and vain; Lana was fun and silly and affectionate...Lola was self-centered, uppity, and only gave you the time of day when she wanted something. Lana was like a cuddly and excitable puppy, and Lola a cat that watches you from across the room with haughty disdain. That alone was enough to ensure that he never actually...cheated…but just thinking about her felt like slapping Lana in the face, and it made him want to cry.

Upstairs, Lola sat her bag on the bed and unzipped it, her arrogant cheekbones pulled back in a pleased smile. She pulled out a thin pink night gown, folded it neatly, and laid it aside. She chose that one for two reasons: One, it was practically sheer, and when she wore it, her tiny breasts were clearly visible, and two, it was so short that it barely covered the bottom of her butt. All she had to do was reach one shapely arm up, and the hem would lift, revealing everything she had to her brother's hungry eyes.

She packed other things too, things she would wear for him if he wanted - lace stockings, see-through negligee, a V-shaped teddy that covered the spot between her thighs, her nipples, and little else. She could be his Barbie and they could play dress-up, or dress- _down_. She imagined lying back on his bed in barely anything and letting him take her clothes slowly off until she was entirely naked, her slender body blushing with exhabitionist passion; he caressed her with his eyes, drinking her in like the fine wine she was, then grazing his fingertips up and down her chest...then kissing her all over, his lips leaving wet, burning trails in their wake.

She brushed her teeth across her bottom lip and drew a deep breath. Her pussy tingled with desire and her nipples ached.

Soon, she told herself, soon.

And giggled.

* * *

Lana stood at Lisa's door a long time before knocking - despite her willingness to beat her little sister up, she didn't particularly want to. She would, but she wouldn't like it, and every moment that she procrastinated, she wasn't knocking Lisa's face in, so...yeah.

Finally, she sighed, balled her fist, and rapped her knuckles against the wood.

"Enter," Lisa called out.

Alright, here goes. Find out what she said and ignore her dumb comments. If she did tell Lola, punch her so hard her glasses become permanently embedded in her face and tell her to mind her own goddamn business. If she didn't, leave.

She turned the knob and slipped in.

Lisa was at her computer directly across from the door, her back to Lana. Her desk was shaped like an L, and the short arm was crammed with vials, tubes, beakers, pieces of machinery that Lana couldn't name from afar but probably could up close, and a thousand other smart people things she could examine all day and still have no name for. Lisa turned, and when she saw who it was, her eyes narrowed; Lana's heartbeat quickened and she steeled herself for a fight. "What do you want?" Lisa asked briskly, her voice oozing distaste.

"I need to talk to you," Lana said, doubling her resolve; her tone was even and calm, beling the roiling emotions - fear namely among them - swirling in her chest like a black tempest. She was scared, scared of Lisa, of what she might _do_ to Lisa, and, most of all, scared of losing Lincoln.

Looking her up and down and finding her lacking, Lisa clucked her tongue. "About?" Her eyes were hard and bubbled with malice, and Lana fought the urge to stare down. Instead, she firmly held the genius's gaze.

"Did you tell Lola about me and Lincoln?" she asked pointedly, injecting her words with a level of menace that she suddenly didn't feel.

Lisa's face was stony and unflinching as she replied. "No." That single word hung in the air like a scream, and Lana was honestly thrown off balance even though she expected as much. She grasped for a response, then forged ahead like a bull charging through a china shop.

"I think Lola knows, and you're the only person who could have told her." Her tone was challenging. _If you got something to say,_ it said, _say it to my face._

Lisa took a deep breath through her nose and blew it steadily out. "Lana, you and Lincoln cavort around here like two -"

"No we don't," Lana spat, "we're _very_ careful. You and Lucy are the only ones who know about us, and Lucy wouldn't run her mouth because she doesn't ride around on a high horse like _you_."

A dark shadow rippled across Lisa's face and her jaw clenched. "Lana, perhaps you do not understand - "

"Perhaps you don't understand that I love Lincoln and he loves me. I bet you're just jealous because you're too cold and unfeeling for love. You're gonna die alone and no one's gonna miss you."

Lisa shot to her feet, her hand balling and her eyes burning with hatred. "Get out of my laboratory," she growled.

Lana stood her ground. "Did you tell Lola?"

"Get. Out."

"Did you -?"

Lisa came forward, and Lana's heart jumped into her throat. She didn't back down, though; she braced her feet against the floor and squared her shoulders. "No," Lisa repeated, her voice low and threatening. "I did not inform Lola of yours and Lincoln's relationship. I told you that I want one of _you_ to be the reason our parents uncover it and send you to therapy. I have not, nor will I ever, tell; but when it comes crashing down, Lana, I'll be there to gloat, and to metaphorically lick the tears from your face." She smacked her lips with a loud, wet squelching sound that made Lana blink in revulsion. "Now get your ass out of my lab or I'll tell our parents everything I know."

In her eyes, Lana saw earnesty - she didn't tell...but she would if she didn't leave.

With a parting sneer, she turned, went into the hall, and pulled the door closed behind her. In her room, she found Dino standing at Lola's trophy case, touching each one and muttering to himself. "Oh, all state? Imma rub my hands on this bitch too."

She sat on the bed and took a deep breath; her heart throbbed painfully and her whole body trembled. Her skin burned and she fought for air - the confrontation played on her nerves more than she thought it would.

Sensing her, Dino turned. "Yo, I found a frog in here. I threw his ass out the window for ya."

Lana's heart dropped to her feet. " _What?_ "

"Yeah, I sent his bitch ass packin. You welcome."

" _THAT'S MY PET!"_

Dino froze. "Oh, shit."

Panic gripped Lana's chest, and she sprang to her feet; she hit the top of the stairs before she even knew she was running and took them two at a time, visions of Hopps hurt and broken beyond repair assailing her from every side like a pack of child molsters at a playground. At the bottom, she met Lynn going up, and mindlessly shot out her arm, shoving the jock out of her way. "Hey!"

At the back door, she fumbled with the knob, tears of fear filling her eyes. "Mama's coming, Hopps!" she yelled. She got the lock, ripped it open, and froze.

Hopps sat in front of the door, looking up at her with annoyance.

 _Ribbit._

Relief washed through her in a crashing wave, and her knees gave out, spilling her to the floor. "Hopps! Are you okay, boy?" She snatched him up before he could answer and checked him, turning him this way and that looking for cuts, breaks, or abrasions.

He was okay.

Thank God.

 _Ribbit,_ he demanded.

"I know, I'm so sorry," she said and got shakily to her feet. "It won't happen again." She placed a tender kiss between his eyes, and his features softened; he licked the side of her face, and she laughed. "C'mon, let's get some lunch. I have a whole tub of grasshoppers upstairs with your name on it." She stopped. "And mine too."

In her room, Dino stood over Lola's vanity, touching everything in sight and knocking things over. "Oops," he said as a bottle of perfume tipped with a _clink_. He looked over his shoulder when Lana came in. "Yo, you found your frog?"

"Yes," Lana said tightly.

Dino turned away from the table to face her, his head tilting forward in the vaguest display of contrition. "Yo, girl, I'm sorry about that. I didn't know he was cool wit'chu."

"It's fine," Lana said hissed, "just don't do it again."

"Yeah, ight, I ain't gon hurt him. He, uh, he kinda cute. What his name is?"

Lana sat on the edge of the bed and reached into her nightstand drawer. "Hopps."

Dino nodded, then came hesitantly over. Hopps tensed and watched him from Lana's pocket, his eyes hard. "What it do, Hopps?" Dino asked and got down on one knee. He reached one finger out, and Hopps whipped his head away.

"He doesn't like people touching him," Lana said sharply, "only me."

"Oh," Dino said, "ight. Cool dat." He got up and stood awkwardly in the center of the room before going over to Lola's bed and sitting.

Lana found the tub of grasshoppers, pulled the lid off, and sat it next to her. Hopps licked his lips and jumped onto the bed. She dipped her hand in, collected a healthy palm full of dead bugs, and sat half before the hungry frog.

She tossed the rest into her mouth and crunched them between her teeth, guts, wings, and bristly legs coating the inside of her mouth and tantalizing her taste buds. Ummm. She opened her eyes and frowned at Dino's open mouth horror. "Oh, girl, you nasty," he said.

"What?" Lana asked and swallowed. "They're really good." She grabbed another handful and threw them in.

Dino shivered. "You cool but you gross."

"I know," Lana chirped and had another helping. "Want some?"

Dino shook his head. "Hell no. You go head and keep those for yo'self."

Lana shrugged.

More for her and Hopps.

 _Crunch._


	4. Dinner and a Show

**RandomReviewerReturns: I don't know if I mentioned it publically, but I was thinking of doing a oneshot on Dino's origins and revealing that the suit is indeed possessed.**

* * *

Lana sat across the table from Lincoln, her hands balled on either side of her plate and a grin on her face. Next to her, Lola glowered at the wall - next to _her,_ Dino held a fork in one hand and a knife in the other, his head bobbing as if to music only he could hear. A napkin was tucked into his...well, Lana didn't know how it stayed put, but it did.

Everyone else did their best to pretend he wasn't there, but Lynn broke and stole a stealthy glance, and Luna's eyes flicked between him and her plate. At the head of the table, Dad cut a loaf of Italian bread into equal pieces. A giant dish of beans and franks sat in the center, flanked on one side by a pitcher of Kool-Aid and on the other by a gallon of milk. No one spoke - it was so quiet you could hear your blood rushing through your veins.

When he was done, Dad sat the bread next to the Kool-Aid, and everyone except Dino reached for the prized heel - the _best_ part. "No," Dad said sharply, "the heel goes to our guest." He held it out to Dino with an accommodating smile. "Here you go, Dino."

Dino sniffed. "Nigga, get that shit out my face. Gimme a soft piece."

Dad's smile faltered, and he made no protest when Luan plucked the heel from his hand. Dino reached over, grabbed a slice, and slapped it on his plate. He grabbed the plastic spoon sticking out of the dish, scooped some up, and looked at it. "What this is?"

"It's beans and franks," Mom explained, "the kids just love it."

Dino looked around the table, seeing ten shades of _nope_ , ranging from _not my favorite but eh_ to _this stuff is literally the worst_. "Don't look like it. Imma still eat, though." He leaned back and draped his arm over the back of the chair as everyone spooned a little onto their plates. He snatched up his bread and shoved it into his maul.

"You can take the suit off if you like," Mom said hesitantly, "get comfortable."

Dino fixed her with a steady gaze, and she squirmed. "You gonna take yo skin off get comfortable too?"

Luna's face crinkled. "Is that really your skin?"

"Nah, nigga" Dino said and waved his hand, "it's a metaphor."

"Ah," Luna said. "Right."

When everyone was done serving themselves, Dino dragged the dish over and slopped a heaping helping on his plate, his elbow clipping the side of Lola's head. "Will you watch what you're doing, please?" she snapped.

Dino turned and favored her with a sneer. She kept her face forward, the corners of her lips turned sharply down and her nose up. Dino went back to his task, and when he was done, he dropped the spoon onto the table. "Y'all spank yo kids?" he asked Dad.

"Absolutely not," Dad said solemnly, "Rita and I don't believe in corporal punishment."

"I see that," Dino snorted.

Lana stared down at her plate, then at Hopps in her lap. She liked to think she was the grossest girl ever, but some things were too nasty even for her, and Dad's beans and franks was one of them. Luckily, Hopps was the grodiest frog in the world and he loved it. She picked up her spoon, dipped it in, then surreptitiously held it below the table. Hopps crawled onto her leg and shot his tongue out, grabbing a bean as though it were a fly.

She glanced up at Lincoln; he was watching her expectantly, his brows lifted quizzically. Lana winked, then fed another spoonful to Hopps.

On the other side of Lola, Dino shoved the spoon into his mouth and chewed slowly, appraisingly. "God _damn,_ nigga," he said and turned to Dad, who jumped. "What this is?"

"B-Beans and franks," Dad said, "it's an old family recipe."

Dino looked from him to his plate and back again. "You need to call this shit fire, cuz it is _lit,_ my nigga."

Dad's face softened with something like relief. "I'm glad you like it."

"Like it, nigga? I think I'm in _love_."

Lana sat her spoon on her plate and slouched down in her seat, her eyes meeting Lincoln's. She nodded. _It's go time, Linc._

He waggled his brows and slouched down too. Lana reached out one bare foot and found his with her toes. She caressed them across his skin in a tender greeting. He returned it by stroking her sole with his big toe.

"...your day?" Dad was asking.

"It was okay," Luna replied, "had a righteous jam sesh with Sam."

Across the table, Dino tilted his head. "Had a _what?"_

"Jam sesh," Luna repeated, "you know, we rocked out. Played our instruments."

"Nigga, what didn't you say that?"

"I...did…" Luna said, her forehead wrinkled.

Lana licked her lips and ran her toes up the top of Lincoln's foot. It was a simple thing, playing footsie with him, but it _really_ turned her on. Touching him in _any_ way turned her on - laying in his arms turned her on, feeling his body heat turned her on, smelling his scent turned her on, sometimes just looking at him, especially the warm, loving light in his eyes, turned her on. His voice too; there were times she could simply hear him and get wet.

Right now, she was _really_ turned on, especially after what they did earlier - she imaigined she could still feel his warm puke on the back of her head and taste his salty cum on her lips. If Lola and Dino weren't screwing everything up, she'd follow him into his room after dinner, get naked, sit in his lap, and sheath him between her folds, her hands on his shoulders and her forehead pressed against his...lifting, falling, lifting, falling, impaling herself on him until he swelled and gave her his love…

Warm, sticky girl cum dampened the crotch of her panties and her cheeks blazed with color. Alright, they had to stop or else she'd jump him right here in front of God and everyone. She pulled her foot away, her toes cold after the heat of his flesh, and sat up straight. Everyone was looking at Dino, and Lana realized that he had been speaking this whole time. "...nigga was trippin, so I knocked his ass out and left."

Lynn snickered and Mom forced a fake smile. "Oh, that's nice."

Dino nodded. "People think I play cuz I'm down with the Dungeon. Uh-uh. I'm a _real_ nigga. I keep it real on these streets. Y'all see me comin, y'all know you done fucked up." He took a drink of Kool-Aid and sighed contentedly. Mom and Dad stared at him with big, shocked eyes.

"That's, uh, that's enlightening," Dad said and turned to Lynn. "How was your day, sweetie?"

"Good," she said, "I cleaned up at football. Gave Timmy a black eye."

Dad opened his mouth, but Dino cut him off. "Yo, you ball?"

"Every day," Lynn said.

"Nah, I mean real ball. Not that gay ass soccer shit."

Lynn snorted. "I don't play soccer. I play football."

"Real football?"

"Real football."

Her face darkened when Dino snorted. "Nigga, you weigh fifty pounds soaking wet, talkin bout you ball."

Lynn's face hardened. Lana reached reached for her bread because there wasn't any popcorn available. "I _do_ ball."

"Who you ball with?" Dino pressed. "Who you ball with?"

"Timmy -"

Dino blew a raspberry. "Ballin on some lil' three-year-old boy down the street. Out there with the Nerf or nothin."

Everyone looked from Dino to Lynn - Lana shoved her bread into her mouth and chewed.

"I play with a _real_ football," Lynn sneered, "on a _real_ field. WIth _real_ opponents."

"Yo, _Madden_ don't count, though."

She splayed her hands on the edge of the table and started to stand, her face red and her eyes flashing, but Dad jumped. "Honey, sit down, please. Finish your dinner."

She hesitated for a moment, then did as he said.

"Umhm," Dino said, "sit yo ass down. Yo daddy might not believe in discipline, nigga, but _I_ do. Imma do you like my grandmama did me - make you go get a switch out the yard and beat yo ass with it."

Lynn growled, grabbed her fork, and savagely stabbed a piece of hot dog with the tines.

Dino turned to Lola. "You too. I done touched _all_ yo shit. What'cha doin?"

Lola shot him a dirty look.

"So, uh, Dino," Dad said in a clear effort to head off an argument, "how long have you worked at The Pizza Dungeon?"

"Ten years," Dino said and took a bite. "I was there the day it opened. Started washin dishes and worked my way up. Like Scarface in that bitch." He picked up his glass and tossed it back, then sat it on the table.

Lana stole a glance at Lola, who ate prim and proper just like she did everything. She still needed to talk to her - Lincoln said she hadn't done or said anything, but Lana didn't trust the princess wannabe as far as she could throw her, which...actually, she could probably throw her pretty far if she was mad. Okay, she didn't trust her as far as she could throw Dino.

After dinner would be the perfect time, but she was kind of hoping she could get Lincoln alone for a quickie. They couldn't use either of their rooms, but there was the attic, and the basement, oooh, and the bathroom. He could bend her over the toilet and ram her while she inhaled the stench of everyone's poop and pee.

Ummm. Yes, please.

"...I couldn't dance, I couldn't sing, I couldn't do _shit,_ then my nigga Mr. Miyagi showed me what's up. Y'all can say Biggie or Pac was the best, but they ain't got _shit_ on that man. He the best that's ever been. I got nothin but love for him. I miss that dead nigga every day."

Dad nodded gravely. "It sounds like he was important to you."

"Straight up, that nigga made me who I am today." He looked down at Lola, who had pushed her plate away and sat with her hands in her lap like a queen on her throne. "You gon finish that?"

She didn't reply.

"Silence gives consent, nigga," Dino said. He picked her plate up and scraped the leftovers onto his. "Mr. Miyagi was like my dads, feel me? Nigga _stayed_ on me. It work, though. Look at me now. Look at me now. I got money, I got bitches, the Dungeon love me; damn, it's good to be Dino."

"What happened to your real father?" Dad asked.

Dino picked up his fork and scooped it across his plate. "Nigga punked out when I was a kid. My mama worked three jobs to support me and my brothas."

"She sounds like an incredible woman."

"Nah, fuck her. Her jobs was sucking dick, slingin rock, and McDonald's."

No one spoke for a minute. "What's wrong with McDonald's?" Lucy asked.

"McDonald's wack," Dino said. "They took they ball pits out. Best part the playground too." He shook his head. "Speakin of food, lil girl, you bout to eat or nah?" He nodded at Lucy's plate, which hadn't been touched.

"I don't like beans and franks," she said.

Dino snorted. "You better eat, get some color in ya face. Lookin like you came out the pet sematary. What, you can't go out in the sun? You gonna burn up?"

Lucy started to speak, but Dino cut her off. "Nah, nah, nah; you gonna sparkle like that nigga from _Twilight_. _Nigga, you wear a cape, you use big words, you sparkle - I know exactly what you is._ Say it it out loud. _Nigga, you a faggot."_

"Ha, ha, ha," Lucy said, her voice dripping sarcasm. "You're hilarious."

Dino took a bite of his food. "I ain't jokin; you over here lookin like that girl from _The Ring_. The fuck you got to be darkness about? You got yo'self a lovin family, you got a roof over yo head, a bright future foldin T-shirts at Hot Topic, nigga, you ungrateful. You was my child I'd whip yo ass."

Luan snickered, and Dino whipped his head in her direction - her smile fell and the color drained from her face. "I know _you_ ain't laughin. Way you took that bread out yo daddy's hand, nigga, uh-uh. My grandmama woulda slapped the taste out my mouth. And what the fuck is that flower on yo shirt? It ain't real, is it? Gon squirt someone in the face, huh?"

Flashing a nervous smile, Luan lifted her hands. "The best pranks are classics."

"Ummm. You a pranksta, huh?"

"T-The best in the business."

"She's a nightmare," Lori said.

Luna nodded in agreement. "Every April Fool's Day, she takes it _waaay_ too far. Last year she destroyed the house."

Dino looked at her, then at Luan - she shrank away in fear. "Umhm. Yo ass lucky you ain't have my family. You try that shit, nigga, you gon hear a joke. What the five fingers say to the face?"

Mom and Dad laughed nervously. "It sounds like your family was strict," Mom said.

"You goddamn right they was. We was well-behaved, too. Let me ask y'all somethin: When y'all go to the grocery store, these little niggas run crazy, huh?"

Mom shook her head. "N-No, I-I wouldn't _that_. They can be rambunctious -"

Dino blew a raspberry. "Saw _that_ comin. _Oh, they just kids_. Kids grow up, homegirl, and when they ain't get the parentin they need, they turn out like punks."

"Like you?" Lynn asked.

Mom and Dad both paled. "Lynn," Dad said sharply, "that wasn't very polite."

Dino lifted one arm. "RIght there, nigga, my point _exactly_. I said some shit like that, nigga, I'd be lucky to have an ass _left_ when my grandmama got done with me."

Across the table, Leni furrowed her brows. "Like...would you have it right?"

Dino turned to her and looked her up and done. "What?"

"Like, you said you wouldn't have an ass left, so you'd have it right. Right?"

For a moment Dino stared at her like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears. "Let me guess," he said, "you the dumb one."

Leni blinked. "No," she said, drawing the word indignantly out.

"Umhm. What's one plus one?"

She started to speak, then touched her index finger to her chin in thought, her head tilting and her eyes rolling up to the ceiling. She hummed then brightened. "Oh, I know. It's totes five."

Dino threw back his head and laughed. "Nigga, stop playin. You know damn well it ain't no five."

"I do?"

Dino sobered when he realized she wasn't playing. "Yo, you serious, huh?" He looked at Mom and Dad, and they both cringed a little. "What grade she in?"

"Eleventh," Mom said.

"She in special ed?"

"No," Dad said and shook his head. "Regular ed."

Lana scooped some beans and franks onto her spoon and shoved them into her mouth. Across the table, Lincoln did the same, and their eyes met; a grin spread across his face and he gave a conspiratorial wink. Lana opened her mouth and showed him her food, some of it dropping down her chin and back onto the plate; he playfully crinkled his nose, which made her giggle.

"Goddamn," Dino said, "George Bush wasn't playin with that no kid left behind shit. He bringin all the dumb niggas with him."

Mom forced a tense laugh. "Bush was a disaster," Dad said tightly, and Lana rolled her eyes. He and Mom were both liberals and when the topic of Bush came up (or, oh god, Trump) they got annoying, Dad more so than Mom.

Dino dismissed him with a curt wave. "Nigga, shut yo ass up. You think you can do better?"

Dad opened his mouth, but Dino lunged for his jugular like a vicious dog. "You one them niggas up on Facebook frontin' like he know everything. You an expert in foreign policy, nigga, economics, defense spendin. You the smartest motherfucka to ever live. Go on and run, then, out there wit'cho pink apron. Yo first day in office we gon get invaded and took over. Mista I-Don't-Believe-in-Corporal-Punishment. How you gonna repel an invasion? Cuba gon send five niggas in an overturned refrigerator and you gonna surrender they asses."

"I think Lynn would make a very good president," Mom said, a defensive edge in her voice. "He's kind, gentle, sensitive -"

"So he a bitch."

Mom blinked and Dad looked hurriedly down at his plate like a castigated dog. "No," Mom said, her irritation beginning to show, "he's -"

Dino shrugged. "He a bitch. I saw him up in that kitchen in his pink apron, shakin his ass and singin like he Beyonce. Check up on it tonight. You really tellin me this faggot gon lead us to victory?" He gestured at Dad.

Wow. This is better than cable, Lana thought.

Mom's jaw clenched and she took a deep breath through her nose; her nostrils flared which meant she was getting mad. "I trust him to do the right thing."

Dino started to speak, but seemed to censor himself. "'Ight. I ain't votin for ass, though."

Lola sighed in contempt. "May I be excused?"

Dad nodded; Lola picked up her plate, carried it into the kitchen, then came out, passing behind Lincoln and dancing her fingers along his shoulders. "Can we play a game, Lincy?" she asked and batted her eyelashes.

Lana's eyes narrowed.

"Uh," Lincoln said nervously, "l-like a video game?"

"Umhm."

He shrugged one shoulder. "Sure." He looked at Lana, and it was clear he didn't want to. He got up, took his plate into the kitchen, and followed anyway; Lola stood on the stairs, one hand resting on the bannister and a devious smile on her lips.

Screw that.

"Can I be excused too?" Lana asked.

"Yes," Dad said.

She grabbed her plate, rushed into the kitchen, dropped it into the sink (she thought she heard something crack), then streaked out as fast as she could go without arousing suspicion. She reached the stairs, climbed them two at a time, and got to Lincoln's room just as he sat next to Lola on the bed, two controllers in his hands. He looked up, and a ghost of a smile flickered across his face. Lola, on the other hand, frowned.

Umhm. You _are_ up to something, you little bitch.

"Hey, Linc," she said, winded, "can I play too?"

"Sure," he said, and Lola's jaw clenched. "There're only two controllers, though."

"That's okay," Lana said and came in, "I don't mind." She dropped onto the bed next to him, and couldn't help leaning playfully into him. He started to put his arm around her shoulders, but stopped himself when he remembered Lola. She stared at the TV screen with a strained expression, but Lana could see her watching them from the corner of her eye. Ha, you're sneaky, sis, but not _that_ sneaky.

On TV, the words STEAL THAT CAR 8 appeared, followed by a montage of cars exploding, people getting shot, and a city skyline. She and Lincoln played this game all the time; it was really fun, especially spraying people with the flamethrower and watching them burn up.

The game started, and Lincoln handed her his controller. Lola glanced at him and leaned close, her shoulder rubbing his. "Lincy," she said, her voice dripping sugar, "what do I do?" He turned to her, and she pouted.

"Well, you -"

"I have a better idea," she said. She half stood, then shifted onto his lap, her butt wedging between his legs and her sleek body pressing back against his. Lana's jaw dropped, then snapped closed again. Really? "There," Lola said and held the controller out in front of her. "Now reach around and help me."

Lincoln's cheeks burned and his lips quivered - he was so embarrassed he looked like he was going to die. "Uh...okay." He wrapped his arms around her and cupped the back of her hands in his palms, his thumbs resting atop hers. He stretched his neck to see over the top of her head, blowing and smacking his lips when some of her hair got in his mouth. She favored Lana was a smug sidelong glance that made her blood boil - she knew alright, and she was mocking her. Lana's grip tightened on the controller and her teeth ground back and forth; she had half a mind to go upside Lola's head with it.

"You just, uh, you push the joystick to move," Lincoln said, and pressed his thumb against hers; onscreen, one of two characters standing side-by-side moved.

Lola turned her face to his; she was shorter, but looking up, her lips were inches from his, and the closeness made Lana seethe. "Like that?" she asked innocently.

Lincoln gulped and nodded. "Uh-huh. Yeah."

She batted her eyelashes. "What else do I do?"

"Play the game and stop acting helpless," Lana snapped. She input a quick cheat code giving her character a knife, then walked up to Lola's and stabbed it in the face - it grunted, stumbled back, and started gushing blood. "Or _that'll_ happen."

Lola gasped, then knitted her brows in an angry V. "Really?" she asked snottily.

Pursing her lips, Lana stabbed Lola's character again, this time in the guts; it doubled over and swayed from side to side. "Really."

Lola looked at her, her lips a tight, white slash and her eyes pooled with contempt, then turned to Lincoln. "Lincy, how do I get a weapon?"

"Like _this,_ " Lana said. She hit X and sliced Lola's character across the throat; it fell over and curled up on the ground, then died.

It respawned a few feet away. "Lincy, give me a weapon!"

Lana entered another cheat, her thumbs flying across the controller; an AK-47 appeared in her guy's hands. She took aim and held down X, peppering Lola's character with bullets; it jerked, twitched, and spun before going down and dying again. "I guess you really _are_ helpless," Lana snorted.

Crimson flashed across Lola's cheeks and her eyes glinted with cruel intentions. "Lincy," she said, "Lana's being mean."

"LaNa'S bEiNg MeAn," Lana mocked.

"See?!"

Lincoln looked stricken for a minute, then looked at Lana. "D-Don't kill her like that. She's just learning to play. It isn't fair."

Isn't fair? ISN'T FAIR? She was sitting between his legs and having him put his arms around her - she wasn't trying to play, she was trying to taunt them.

That's it. No more pussyfooting around. "You know, don't you?" she spat.

Lola looked at her strangely. "Know?" A faint glint in her eye, like the gleaming of a knife blade, betrayed her lie. Lincoln's face paled and he turned to Lana. _Stop,_ he mouthed.

She ignored him. "You know and you're gonna blackmail us or something, aren't you?"

Lola shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

Lana popped. She threw the controller to the ground and shot to her feet. "Stop playing games! You know exactly what I'm talking about!" She balled her fists and leaned in; Lola's eyes flickered with mortal terror and she shied against Lincoln for protection. Lana cocked one fist, but before she could throw it, someone snatched her by the back of her overalls and pulled her away.

"Girl, what the fuck is yo problem?" Dino asked and held her up like a mother cat holding its baby by its scruff. Lana's feet dangled over the floor, and being helpless only made her madder. She threw a flurry of kicks and punches at the air, and Lola flinched, her face burying in Lincoln's chest.

"It's _her_ ," Lana said, "she's being a bitch. Again."

Dino followed her gaze, saw Lola, and hummed. "Ight. She deserve it." He let Lana down, and Lola squealed. Lana threw herself at her sister, but Lincoln shot out his arm and shoved her back.

"Lana, stop! She didn't do anything."

In her fury, she may very well have ripped Lincoln apart to get to Lola, but the point became moot when Dino grabbed her and flung her aside; she lost her balance and went to her knees with an _umph._ "Oh, shit, nigga, you got Steal That Car? That's what's up." He dropped onto the bed, grabbed the controller from the floor, and took aim at Lola's character with the AK. "Pow!" he said and pressed X; bullets tore into Lola's avatar and knocked him flat on his back. "Talk that shit, nigga, _see_ what happen."

Lana, on her hands and knees, looked up at Lincoln; Lola was nestled protectively against him, her hands covering her face, and something about seeing it hurt so bad it was like a knife in her stomach. Hot tears filled her eyes, and she pushed to her feet, turned, and hurried out. "Lana!" Lincoln called after her, but she didn't stop until she reached her bed; she threw herself on and burrowed her face into the blanket, her tears soaking into the material.

First Lisa, now Lola. Why couldn't they just be happy for her? Why did they have to call her mean names and taunt her like that? She wasn't doing anything wrong, was she? Lincoln made her happy and she loved him with all her heart - she just wanted to have him and for her family to support them. Lucy did, but Lisa didn't - she couldn't even walk down the hall without her younger sister clucking her tongue or giving her a dirty look. Lola didn't...she was going to hang it over her head because when you got right down to it, Lola didn't care about her, she only cared about herself.

She squeezed her eyes closed and clutched the blanket in her hands.

Months ago, when she found that _Hustler_ at the dump, she wanted to have sex with Lincoln and that was that. She didn't want to cuddle him at night or hold his hand, or run her toes up his legs as they snuggled in bed - she just wanted gross, dirty, amazing sex.

That was wrong.

Then she fell in love with him. She always loved him, always felt safe and warm and good around him, but it was only after deciding that she wanted to do sex with him that she started to really look at hm, and realized just how perfect he really was. She saw him suffering because of that bitch Ronnie Anne, and it killed her inside - she wanted to hold him, kiss him, and make him feel as good as he made her feel.

Was that really so fucking bad? Did she really deserve Lisa's crap, and now Lola's too?

The bed dipped, and she looked up through blurry eyes; Lincoln frowned and laid his hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"No," Lana admitted, "I'm sad." The tears came faster, and she gave into them, bowing her head and crying silently. Lincoln wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. She curled up against him, pressed her face to his chest, and took a deep breath through her nose; his scent was warm and comforting, clean but masculine.

He ran his fingers softly through her hair and stared down at her with loving eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Lots of stuff, she thought but did not say. "Lola," she said thickly, "I think she knows and she's gonna do something."

Lincoln blinked. "About us?"

She nodded.

Lincoln didn't speak for a moment. Sighing, he said, "I kind of wonder if she does too."

Lana looked up at him.

"She's been acting really...sweet," he said. "And she only does that when she's going to ask you for something, or when she's about to bite your head off."

Lana knew, boy did she know. She'd shared a room with her since they were old enough to have one, and in that time, Lana had learned all of her sister's tics, traits, habits, and motivations. She was fundamentally selfish, and she had a way of making everything serve her will, like she was God.

Not only was she selfish, though, she was also _sadistic_ \- she was like a cat who toyed with its prey before eating it, relishing its fear, savoring its terror, and delighting in the frantic squeaking it made as she sank the tips of her claws slowly into its chest.

There was no doubt about it. She knew about them and she was playing with them, like that damn cat with its mouse, batting them back and forth and holding them in her mouth before bringing her teeth down. She wouldn't tell outright, she'd make them serve her, and as long as they were together, she would have leverage.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. "What do we do?" she asked.

Lincoln was quiet for a moment. "We wait," he said.

"Wait?" she asked, tasting the word as though it were foul. "Why? We should confront her. She knows so -"

He cut her off. "We don't know that for sure. We're both paranoid and we could be jumping at shadows. She might want something else, or maybe she _knows_ something else. You trampled Mom's roses last week, and I accidentally tore up Dad's apron. Maybe she found out and that's what she's going to use against us."

"No," Lana said, "she knows about _us,_ Linc. That's what she -"

"We don't know that," he repeated firmly. "If we go off half-cocked and assume that she does, we might as well be gift wrapping it and throwing it into her lap with a card that says _We're together, here, please blackmail us."_

"Lincoln," Lana said sharply, "look at how she's been acting and tell me it's over an apron and some roses."

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. "We don't know," he said again, as if repeating it enough times would convince her...or him. "We need to play it safe. I don't want to lose you." His voice broke with emotion and his eyes welled with tears. Lana frowned and touched the side of his face, her heart swelling with love. She didn't want to lose him either, he was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she would do anything it took to keep him as both a brother _and_ more.

"Alright," she said, "we'll wait." Then. "I love you, Lincoln."

"I love you too."


	5. Dino vs the Louds

In Lincoln's room, Dino navigated his character across a city street, cars stopping and honking their horns as they darted past. Lola, jaw clenched, guided her character to a car and pressed the triangle button - he ripped the door open and started to pull the driver out, but Dino's came up behind, snatched him by the back of his shirt, and flung him to the ground. "Stop!" Lola spat.

Dino's character produced a handgun and aimed it at Lola's guy as he pushed to his feet. "Get up, nigga. Imma teach yo ass bout respectin other people's property." When Lola's character was standing, Dino lit it up. _BAM BAM BAM._

Lola gripped the controller as hard as she could and shook with rage. "If I had a gun I'd kill you."

"Pfft, nigga, please. You shoot yo foot off."

Lola's character respawned in the middle of the street, and Dino ran up to it. "Face check, nigga." He punched Lola's character so hard it half-spun and dropped to the ground.

"STOP!"

Dino snickered, and she slammed the controller to the floor, her arms folding indignantly over her chest. Dino's character kicked hers until it died. "You really gon be like that?" he asked.

"Yes," Lola said. "You keep killing me, it's not fair."

"The _streets_ ain't fair." He looked at her, then at the controller, then at her again. "You want a gun?

Lola turned her head away and ignored him.

"You's a brat," he said. He bent, scooped the controller up, and put in a cheat; an Uzi appeared in Lola's character's hand. "Here," he said and held the controller out. "Got you an Uzi submachine, nigga. You can light my ass up with that."

Lola craned her neck away, and Dino shook the controller. "Here, nigga," he urged. "'Less you wanna be a little bitch and rage quit cuz I'm better than you."

She whipped her head around, her eyes flashing. "You are _not_ better than me. You're a grown man in a big, smelly dinosaur suit and the only people who like you are kids. You're probably a pedophile."

"Look at you talkin. You a little lower-middle class white girl think she a princess cuz she got a dress-up crown at the Dollar Tree. You ain't shit, bitch, and you gon see when you get older. Beauty fades, my nigga, just like _yo_ ass gon fade." He jammed one finger against Lola's nose.

She slapped his hand away. "I am _not_ going to fade. I am going to be beautiful forever."

Dino laughed. "You gon be real beautiful livin in a double wide with yo six kids and yo beer-belly ass husband with all the other lil beauty queens. You might be hot shit on these streets, nigga, go to Miss America, they gon laugh yo ass all the way into a cashier job at Burger King."

Lola's face was scarlet and her teeth clenched. "You should know, you're a failed rapper who works as a fast food mascot. Let me guess, sweetie, your mixtape was fire, just like all the other SoundCloud wannabes."

Dino sneered. "Talk bout SoundCloud nigga, I bet yo ass got Instagram where you post all yo lil selfies for the attention yo daddy can't give you cuz he got eleven kids."

Lola flinched. She _did_ have an Instagram where she posted selfies. They were _not_ attention seeking, though. They were _not_.

Like a shark smelling blood, Dino grinned. "Umhm. That's why yo ass do pageants. Gettin 7.5s form the judge when all you want is a 0.1 from yo daddy."

A tight knot formed in Lola's stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick. "That is _not_ true."

"Yes it is. All y'all lookin for attention. You got yo sista playin football, yo sista playin music, yo sista lookin like Elvira, nigga, y'all gots to stand out, huh? Otherwise yo asses get lost in the pack and daddy forget yo ass in the back the van on a hot day. You ain't no goddamn princess, girl, you a _statistic."_

Lola's vision went gray at the edges and stinging tears filled her eyes. She _did_ feel like she got lost in the crowd, and she _did_ want her father's attention. "That's...that's a lie. You're just a dumb, stupid, ugly, wangster who doesn't know anything."

Dino snorted. "Yeah, girl? I know this: You crushin on yo brother."

Lola's heart sank. "I am _not_."

"Yes, you is, I saw how you was lookin at him. Then you get in his lap, nigga? You can't get daddy attention so you gon get ya brother's." Dino leaned in and Lola instinctively leaned back, her heart slamming in a mixture of fear and misery. He nodded slowly and lowered his voice. "But he ain't got time for ya either. You so goddamn great, girl, how come no one wanna hang wit'cho ass?"

Lola's big, clear eyes shimmered with unshed tears; her chest throbbed like a poisoned tooth; her body was flush from head to toe; and her stomach twisted into strange and painful shapes. He was right, no one wanted to hang out with her. Lincoln and her sisters were always doing things and excluding her - they got together, laughed, and played games, and she'd find them sharing secrets or watching a movie or playing a board game. _Humph, no one invited_ me? She'd say as though she were mildly offended instead of deeply hurt - as though she wouldn't cry into her pillow later.

Dino's gaping maw glimmered like cannibal fangs and his beady eyes bore into her, past her defenses and though her carefully-crafted facade, seeing her naked vulnerability. "No one wants yo ass cuz you a female asshole, girl. You turn yo nose up like yo shit don't stink and act like you better than everyone. You so love-starved, girl, it's makin you crazy; you can't think of nothin else but someone bein nice and payin attention to yo ass. Got you so fucked up you don't care that he's with yo sister, you don't care if you gotta be little miss homewrecker. You gonna break that lil girl heart just to try and fix yo own, nigga, but guess what. You ain't got no heart. You a a mean, bitter, lonely ass, self-centered little -"

Lola didn't hear that rest: Bursting into tears, she jumped up and fled from the room, her hands covering her face.

He was right. Everything he said was one hundred percent right. She _was_ lonely and bitter, she _was_ self-centered, she _was_ desperate for someone to love her and pay attention to her.

And she _was_ willing to break Lana's heart.

That made her cry harder still.

She didn't realize she was in her room until she bumped into her trophy case, the force of the collison making the awards shake and rattle, mocking voices - _10, 9.5, 8.6._ She threw herself onto the bed and sobbed into her pillow, unaware that Lincoln and Lana were both looking at her from Lana's bed, his legs over the edge and her nestled in his arms. They looked at each other, and a wary frown passed between them. Lola wasn't above crying and throwing tantrums to get what she wanted - as long as things came out to her liking, she had no shame.

Her tears sounded genuine, though.

Setting Lana aside, Lincoln got up and approached the edge of Lola's bed the way one might approach a potentially vicious animal. _Good girl, don't bite, I'm just gonna see if you're *CHOMP*_

He stood over for a hesitant moment, looking down at her shaking shoulders and heaving back, trying to decide if she was really upset, or just faking. It didn't really matter, he reckoned, and sat, his hand going tentatively to her back. "Hey," he said softly, "are you okay?"

Lola clutched the pillowcase in her gloved fingers and turned her head, her wet cheek burrowing into the pillow - her clear eyes sparkled with sadness and beads of tears slid down her face like shimmering crystals. Lincoln's heart twinged; yeah, she wasn't faking, something was really wrong, and blackmailer or not, it hurt to see one of his sisters in pain. "What's wrong?" he asked and rubbed a circle between her shoulder blades. Lana watched from her bed, hands on her knees and her expression skeptical.

"Nothing," Lola said, her voice thick.

"Lola, it -"

"It's nothing!" she snapped. "Leave me alone!"

Lincoln flinched, and looked at Lana for help. She tilted her head quizzically to one side and pursed her lips. That wasn't a _please press harder and 'make me open up'_ nothing, it was a _go away and don't talk to me_ nothing.

Lana shrugged, and Lincoln looked worriedly down at the beauty queen before getting up. He paused, then jerked his head toward the door, indicating that he wanted Lana to follow him. She got up and trailed him into the hall, where he clenched his jaw. "Dino," he said.

"Dino?" Lana asked, not catching his drift.

Lincoln's eyes flashed. "He did something to her." He wheeled around and stormed into his room. Uh-oh. Lana hurried after, holding onto her hat to keep it from flying off.

The mascot sat on the edge of the bed, bent slightly forward and staring at the screen, pixelated sirens and explosions filtering from the speakers. "Take _that,_ nigga," he said and tapped one of the buttons. Lincoln strode up to him and stood ramrod straight at the dinosaur's left elbow, his hands balled at his sides and his face pinched in rage. Dino glanced at him. "Nigga, what'chu want? I'm takin these pigs to school."

"What did you do to my sister?" Lincoln demanded.

Dino turned back to the screen, where his character stood in the middle of a city street surrounded by burning cop cars and dead policemen. A SWAT guy popped up from behind an overturned trash can and took aim. Dino lifted his gun, but Lincoln smacked the controller out of his hands before he could fire - it flew across the room and hit the wall with a crack of breaking plastic. The SWAT guy sprayed Dino with bullets, killing him.

Lana winced, and Dino turned to look at Lincoln; though his expression was frozen in place, she could have sworn she saw his features darken. "Nigga, that's some ass whippin shit right there."

"What did you do to Lola?" Lincoln asked, ignoring him.

Dino glared at him for a moment, then lifted one shoulder. "I told her what's up."

"You made her cry."

"Nah, nigga, she made her _self_ cry. Lookin in that mirror all the time but the moment she see what she really is she break down." He blew a dismissive raspberry.

Lana's brow crinkled. What she really is?

"What did you do?" Lincoln pressed.

"Nigga, I told you. I was real with her. Told her what I saw and she didn't like it. She like you, though, nigga. Tryna steal yo ass away from ya girl."

Lana's heart dropped and Lincoln started. "W-What?"

"Umhm. That's why she was all up in yo shit, nigga. She need someone tell her she pretty and, homeboy, you it."

Suddenly, it all made sense: Lola insisting that _she_ stay with Lincoln, the way she flirted with him, getting into his lap and watching him with those big, clear eyes. She was trying to take Lincoln away from her.

Hot, boiling _fury_ shot through her veins, and her face turned beet red. "That bitch," she snarled. She spun on her heels and surged into the hall like an angry tide, her body bent forward and her fists shaking. Lincoln frantically called her name but she didn't hear it, and wouldn't have stopped if she had.

In her room, Lola lay prostrate on her bed, her face buried in the pillow. Plotting. Conniving. Like the goddamn snake she was. Flashing, Lana threw out her elbow and slammed the trophy case - awards toppled off the shelves and landed on the floor with a series of thumps. Lola pushed up on her arms and looked over her shoulder, her forehead creasing. "You fucking _slut,"_ Lana spat, and Lola's eyes widened in fear. "Get your shit out of Lincoln's room RIGHT NOW!"

Lola's jaw dropped, and her lips started to quiver. "Cry all you want, bitch, but if you ever touch Lincoln I'll kill you. I'LL KILL YOU!" She threw herself at Lola, and the beauty queen wailed.

Just like last time, though, Dino grabbed her by the back of her overalls and dragged her off her feet, the world spinning as he spun her to face. "Girl, calm yo ass down."

She couldn't - her vision blurred and blood crashed against her temples, keeping time with her thundering heart. "Let me go!" she screamed and thrashed, her fists and feet lashing the air. Lincoln ducked through the door and looked strickenly from Lana to Lola, who sobbed into her pillow.

"What's going on?"

He jerked a glance over his shoulder, and all of his sisters crowded around the door, jostling for position and craning their necks to see. Lynn peeked over Lucy's head, saw Dino, and gasped. "Hey!" She shoved Lucy out of the way, stiff-armed Lincoln in the shoulder, and ran at the mascot at a trot. "Get your hands off her!"

Acting fast, Dino side-stepped, shot out his free hand, and snatched the back of her jersey, jerking her up off her feet just like he had Lana. Lynn cried out and threw a punch that sliced through the air and missed Dino's face by mere inches. "Yo, calm yo'sefl!"

Coming alive, the rest of the sisters stormed into the room, their faces dark and their eyes pooled with outrage. Lincoln's heart jumped into his throat and he held up his hands. "No, wait, he's -"

Leni shoved him roughly out of the way, and he fell to the floor, landing on his hands and knees. He looked over his shoulder just as they surrounded Dino, yelling, slapping, kicking, punching. "Back y'all asses up!" Dino cried in alarm. "I ain't do nuffin!"

Lori kicked him in the shin, and he dropped Lynn, dancing back on one foot. Leni shoved him and he stumbled, retaining his balance but losing it when Lynn tackled him. He crashed to the floor like a mighty oak, and the whole house shook. Lincoln gaped. "S-Stop!"

The sisters ringed Dino and unleashed a furious torrent of stomps; Lynn straddled his chest and hit him with a sick cross punch that whipped his head to one side. Growling, he caught her by the ponytail and drove her back, getting to his feet. Luna punched him in the side of the head, and he threw out his arm, whacking her across the stomach and sending her to her ass. Lucy headbutted him, and Lori slapped him across the face. He rammed the heel of his palm into her forehead, and she staggered back.

"Y'all best back y'all asses up!"

Where was Lana?

Lincoln looked around, cold dread flooding his stomach, but didn't see her; Lola was curled up on her bed, trying to make herself as small a target as possible.

Dino was completely encircled, towering above the mass like a mountain, fists battering his chest and stomach "MAN, FUCK THIS!" He reached into his suit and whipped out a gold plated Glock with jewel encrusted inlay. Lincoln's heart burst and he squeezed his eyes closed.

"Back yo asses the fuck up right this muthafuckin minute!" Dino cried, waving the gun. Everyone paled and fell away from him like vampires from a cross, Lynn tripping over her feet and landing on her butt and Luan's eyes growing to five times their normal size. "I didn't a goddamn thing. I was keepin yo sista from whippin Lola ass. Y'all welcome."

Dad came into the room. "What is going -" he saw Dino and shrank back, his hands going to his face. "Oh, my God, he's got a _gun!"_

"Y'all best recognize, I was helpin y'all dysfunctional asses. Y'all ain't no family, you a goddamn episode of Jerry Springer." Lucy moved; he pointed the gun at her and she froze. "Bitch, I will blow you Hot Topic lookin head right off. Try me."

Cringing, Dad held up one. "M-Mr. Dino, p-please don't...don't hurt my family, sir."

Lincoln scanned the crowd, but still didn't see Lana. Lola lay on her stomach, the pillow held tight over the back of her head.

"Nigga, do it look like Imma hurt yo family?" He aimed the gun directly at Dad, and Dad trembled a frightened, _oh God._ "I been playin Dr. Phil up in here, healing they wounds. Yo little princess right there needs yo attention, nigga. When the last time you took her out for ice cream, homie?"

Dad shook in terror. "Uh, uh, u-uh, it's...it _has_ been a while…"

"Umhm. It been a while." He aimed the gun at Lynn, and she cried out. "When the last time you played catch with LeBron here?"

Dad let out a choked sob. "...uh, it's, that's, t-that's been awhile too."

"Nigga, yo bout as bad as my granddaddy. That nigga came home, sat in his chair, and wouldn't move for shit. You fine makin all these kids but not spendin time with 'em. You a failure as a man, nigga. I saw yo ass in that pink apron. What's wrong with you, nigga? That ain't the example a man set for his kids. They ain't got no respect for you, nigga, cuz you a goofy-ass muthafucka. And you don't whip they asses. Nigga, I wouldn't respect yo ass either. You more a mom then they mama is. Speakin of, some Dino nigga got y'all hostage and where she at? I ain't tryna go to jail, but if she ain't callin the cops on my ass, Imma be _real_ disappointed."

Everyone stared at him with wide eyes and slack jaws. Lincoln started to go in search of Lana, but Dino whipped the gun around and aimed it at him: Electric fright crackled along his veins and plunged into his heart. "And you, nigga, You bout as bad as you daddy. You -"

He cut off when a woman's voice drifted down the hall. "Where that lyin, cheatin, no good ass Dino?"

Dino tensed.

"Ma'am," Mom's voice followed, "I really -"

"Shut yo ass up, bitch."

A moment later, a giant pink dinosaur suit appeared in the bedroom doorway, and everyone turned to gape; her black hair was long and shiny, spilling over her shoulders. She wore a pink bow on her head and lipstick covered her jagged maw. "Oh, there you is," she said distastefully, looking Dino up and down. "I got somethin for yo ass." She threw something at Dino's feet: A silver ring. "Take yo goddamn engagement ring and give it to that ho you's with." She sneered. "And put that goddamn gun away, you ain't gon use it."

Lincoln was so confused he didn't know which way was up anymore.

Dino shoved the gun back into his suit and picked the ring up. "Come on, girl, don't be like that. I told you, it didn't mean nothin."

She hummed. "It didn't mean nothin to yo nasty ass, it meant somethin to me. I work all day long, and I come home to you fuckin some bitch on _my_ couch. I don't play that. You down with OPP, nigga, go be down with OPP. I don't share my man."

"Dinette, stop playin," Dino said and started forward, his shoulders slumped in contrition. "I told you I was sorry."

"Uh-uh, that ain't gon work," Dinette said. "You said you love me -"

"I _do_ love you."

"- then you do some triflin ass shit like that. Fuck you, nigga."

Dino sighed and bowed his head. "Look, I messed up, girl, I ain't gon lie. I'm sorry, though."

He reached out, and Dinette smacked his hand away. "Don't touch me. I ain't one of yo hos. Nigga, I'm tryna start a family and you playin games like you a kid." She stomped one giant foot on the floor for emphasis. "I told you I don't do that. And you did it anyway. You know how much that hurt me?" Her voice was thick with emotion. "I _love_ you and you broke my heart." She turned her head away and covered her eyes with her hand. Dino sighed and laid his hand on her shoulder; she tried to pull away, but he took her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, "I fucked up. I-I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just stupid, okay?"

"You a dumb nigga," she said.

"I know."

"Lyin, cheatin ass nigga."

"I know, girl, I'm sorry."

"You're a piece of shit and a lowlife asshole."

Dino held her against his chest and stroked her hair.

"But I love yo ass anyway."

Dino held her at arm's length and cupped her cheek in her hand. He gazed deeply into her eyes and took a deep breath. When he spoke next, his voice was different, lower, not as harsh. "I'm sorry, Dinette, I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I don't wanna lose you."

She stared up at him with confliction, then took his face in her hands and tilted her head; their maws locked like two bucks locking horns. Lincoln pressed his fingers to his temples and shook his head. Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan sat on the foot of Lana's bed, watching Dino and Dinette kiss like it was a romance movie, Lori pressing her fists to her chest with a low _aww_. Lucy stood in the middle of the room and stared blankly; Lynn gagged; Lisa stared at her feet in what looked like shame; Lola stared over her shoulder with tears in her eyes; and Dad cringed against the side of Lola's trophy case, his arms protectively over his head. Lana was nowhere to be seen, and he was starting to worry.

"You ever cheat on me again," Dinette said, "Imma kill you _and_ her." She rested the side of her head against Dino's chest. "Then myself."

"You ain't gotta worry bout that, girl," Dino said and slipped his arm around her shoulders, "I'm with'chu and no one else."

Together they turned and disappeared through the door. Dino peeked his head around the frame. "Y'all some wack ass niggas." He looked from one to the other, his mouth seeming to pucker in distaste. "Stay out my dungeon."

With that, he was gone.


	6. Three's Company

Lincoln found Lana sitting on his bed, her knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around his pillow. When he came in, she glanced at him then away, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears and her mouth a miserable squiggle. His heart squeezed and his step faltered. "Hey," he said, climbing on and sitting next to her, "you alright?"

After Dino and Dinette left and everyone drifted away, he ignored every instinct in his body and went off in search of Lana instead of comforting Lola, who whimpered quietly into her pillow. Dino's words rang through his head: _She like you, though, nigga. Tryna steal yo ass away from ya girl._ They say hindsight is 20/20, and looking back, knowing what he knew now, it was pretty clear what Lola was doing. Lincoln loved Lana with all his heart and soul, and on a clear blue day, he would never cheat on her, but he didn't trust himself right now, not 100 percent. He felt something for Lola, even if just physical attraction coupled with brotherly love, and it would be far too easy for him consoling her to lead to something else.

Which is the main reason he left her crying alone into her pillow.

"No," Lana said and hugged her knees.

Lincoln frowned and slipped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her to his chest. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She sighed deeply. "Lola. She wants to take you away from me. And Lisa. She hates our guts just because we're together. It's like…" she trailed off. "It's like no one wants me to be happy." She hugged herself even tighter and stared down at her feet.

Lincoln opened his mouth to reply, but he honestly didn't know what to say to that. Lisa was...he didn't know. She hated that he and Lana were together with a psychotic intensity that shocked him. Lola...something told him Lola was jealous. Or maybe Dino was right and she needed attention. It's easy to get lost in the shuffle when you have ten siblings, he knew that all too well. It didn't matter if you were a beauty queen, or if you were a guitar goddess - it didn't matter if you were a sports star or wore black or anything else. Life gets in the way, and sometimes you fall into the cracks. Before Lana, he felt like that all the time - lost, overlooked, forgotten, as though he were alone in the world and no one _really_ cared about him.

He knew what Lola was going through, and it hurt because he knew just how awful it really was.

"I don't think Lola wants to...to break us up...per se," he started cautiously. "I think she just...she needs attention, like Dino said. We _do_ exclude her a lot."

"Because she deserves it."

Lincoln shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah, she _does_ bring it on herself, but she's...you know...she's high maintenance. Some people are. They can't help it; everyone is a certain way, whether they're born like that or made. They might be difficult, but they don't necessarily mean to be, and when no one wants to be around them, they can't understand why. And it hurts." He took a deep, contemplative breath and thought of Lola - everything she was, everything she did, searching now for hints of _why_ she did the things she did, trying to make meaning out of chaos. Not long ago, she blackmailed Lana over that _Hustler_ she found at the dump. What did she ask from her?

To play tea party.

To spend time with her.

When he and his other sisters did things, they never invited Lola because she was so difficult - she would whine if things didn't go exactly the way she wanted them to (if they picked a movie she didn't like, for example) and then treat everyone like dirt. They left her out, and she knew it...which could very well inform the way she acted toward them in a vicious, never ending cycle. Lola was a _princess_ : Snooty, picky, spoiled, and selfish.

But she was also their sister.

He said as much, and Lana listened intently, her lips pursing as she considered his words. "You should go talk to her," he finished.

Lana sighed. Lincoln was right about her being their sister and them needing to be there for her, but that didn't change the fact that Lola was trying to steal him. It didn't matter the reason, it didn't matter _why_ she was doing it, it only mattered that she _was_. Every action has an intention behind it - you can do the best thing for the worst reason or the worst for the best reason. Actions speak louder than words, they say; they also speak louder than motivations.

She thought back to the misery in Lola's eyes when she confronted her in their room. She was too mad to notice it at the time, but now, it filled her head and twisted her heart. "What do I say?" she asked. "'Hey, it's cool you're trying to steal Linc since you're sad'?"

"No," Lincoln said. "Just...ask her about it. See what she says. And don't be too rough on her."

Lana mulled it over a moment then nodded. "Alright, I'll go talk to her." She took Lincoln's hand and slipped her fingers through his. He squeezed and a happy little grin spread across her lips. Realistically, no one is perfect, but sometimes, a person comes so close that it doesn't matter. For her, Lincoln was that person, and the thought of him not loving her anymore made her sick. "I guess…" she trailed off when Lisa appeared in the doorway.

Oh, great, just what she _didn't_ want right now: More hate.

Lincoln followed her gaze and tensed. The only time Lisa ever sought them out was when she felt like unloading judgement and derision, and he was not in the mood. "What do you want?" he asked, his arm tightening protectively around Lana's shoulder. She wasn't a weak girl - she could take care of herself - but being with Lincoln made her feel safe and at peace, as though nothing could ever harm her just so long as she was in his arms.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Lisa said, "I would like to express my...apologies for the way I have treated the both of you these last few months."

Lana and Lincoln both lifted their brows in surprise. Do I have dirt in my ears? Cuz it sounded like Lisa said she was sorry about being an asshole to me and Linc, and that's not possible, not after all the things she'd said, and how vhement she was in saying them. Lisa wasn't just mildly off put by their relationship, she was _repulsed_ by it - and never missed an opportunity to tell them. Her saying sorry was like...like the sun rising in the west and setting in the east, hot snow falling up, the clock ticking backwards, conservatives and liberals getting along.

In the words of the immortal Dino: Nigga wat?

Forging ahead, Lisa said, "I have been unduly harsh in my condemnation of your union, and I am sorry." Her face rippled slightly as though the final three words caused her physical pain.

"It's -" Lincoln started, but she spoke over him.

"I want the both of you to realize where I stand, and why I behaved the way I did. I see familial bonds as something special and, indeed, sacred. I see your relationship, therefore, as a perversion of said bonds. You gleefully couple, yet have not stopped to think about what comes next. You cannot marry, your offspring will be at increased risk for birth defects, and if your relationship dissolves, you will lose not only a partner but perhaps even a family member as well. I am honestly concerned that the latter may indeed happen one day, and had hoped you would see reason, or would at least be shamed into ceasing your activities. I see now that that won't work, and, after careful consideration, I have decided to support your relationship or, failing that, to overlook it."

When she didn't continue, Lincoln shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, t-thanks."

Lisa looked at Lana, and Lana intensively flinched. "Lana, I told you earlier today that I have not informed our parents of yours and Lincoln's goings on because I wanted to see one of you slip and get yourselves caught. That was not true, at least not entirely. I have not told because despite everything I've said, I care about both of you. I was hoping, yes, that our parents would intervene, but I could not bring myself to be the one to precipitate it." She looked at Lincoln, then down at her feet. "I don't like it, but I will try to accept it, and to accept you, as well."

Without another word, she turned on her heels and left the room, leaving Lana and Lincoln dumbfounded. "Dino was wrong," Lincoln said, "we're not an episode of Jerry Springer. We're an episode of Dr. Phil."

* * *

When Lana entered hers and Lola's room, she found her sister sitting on her bed, her pillow clutched to her chest for comfort and her face awash with grief: Unshed tears stood in her stormy eyes and black streaks of ink-like mascara dribbled down her delicate cheeks. Her usually perfect hair was messy and her dress was carelessly rumpled. She looked up, saw Lana, and froze, a shadow of fear flickering across her face.

"Hey," Lana said nervously. She stood at the foot of the bed and fought the urge to rub the back of her neck.

Lola watched her warily but didn't speak.

Coming around the side, Lana sat on the edge of the mattress and put her hands in her lap. Before coming in, she stood in the hall for a good ten minutes practicing what she was going to say, but the moment she saw the evident hurt in Lola's face, it all fled away from her. "I-I'm sorry about earlier," she said to her hands, unable to look at her sister's wounded eyes. "I just…" she sighed. "I popped off."

She could feel Lola's gaze heavy on the side of her face, and her cheeks started to burn. She turned her head, and Lola darted her eyes away. "It's alright," she said in a broken whisper. "I deserved it."

Seeing an opening, Lana said, "Is it true that you...you like Lincoln?"

For a moment, Lola didn't reply, and Lana began to wonder if she would. "Yes," she finally admitted.

Though Lana was kind of expecting this, her heart twinged anyway.

There it was.

Out in the open and heavy between them.

"Y-You were gonna...take him away from me?"

Lola visibly flinched as if struck...then nodded, her tears overspilling and sliding down her face. "I didn't...I didn't think of it like that." Her voice broke and the latter seven words came out in a breathy rush. "I saw what you guys had and I wanted it too. You look so happy together." She drew a shaky breath and wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. Getting control of herself, she said, "When I found out, I thought it was gross, then I thought about it, and I realized how great Lincoln is, and when I saw how happy he made you, I...I got jealous. I wanted him to make me happy too."

Lana glanced at her sister, and frowned at the anguish she saw. "Dino was right," Lola went on. Her tone was slow, thick, and washed out. "I just want someone to love me. That's all." Her lips started to quiver and she hugged her pillow tighter. "I just want someone to love me."

Lana's heart cracked in two, and she turned, her arms circling around her weeping sister and pulling her to her chest. Lola squeezed her eyes closed and gave in to her sobs, her tiny body trembling like a leaf on a tree. Lola cried to get her way sometimes, and she could act _very_ well, but this was genuine; there was a deep, black well of hurt inside of her that Lana never knew existed, and she started to tear up too. She didn't know why Lola felt this way, but she did, and that was all that mattered right now: She was in pain and Lana wanted only to fix it.

But how? She could fix broken toys, broken toilets, and broken struts, but she'd never fixed a broken person. She -

An idea struck her so hard she blinked.

No, that was crazy.

And made her more than a little uncomfortable...though, it wasn't _that_ bad when you thought about it.

Absently stroking Lola's hair and shushing her, Lana turned the idea over in her mind and examined it from every angle, looking for flaws and finding several...none of them fatal, though. People did it all the time. It wasn't exactly normal, but neither was hers and Lincoln's relationship. It was fundamentally _ab_ normal. If other people could make it work, why not them? She loved Lola, and she loved Lincoln, and they loved her - they could swing it, right?

Lana held her twin at arm's length and stared into her muddled eyes; a single teardrop raced down her cheek and dripped onto the front of her dress. Was she really about to propose this? It was surreal, insane, scary, and, to be honest...a little exciting. "I have an idea," she said.

"What?" Lola sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"How about we share him?"

Lola looked at her as if she'd just spoken in another language. "What?"

"Share Lincoln."

For a moment Lola's eyes were clouded with confusion, then understanding dawned in them and they widened with something approaching panic. "No, no, I-I can't do that, no."

"Why not?" Lana asked.

She was not expecting Lola's reply: The beauty queen sighed and hung her head. "Because he's yours. He loves _you_ and you love him. I don't wanna get in the way of that."

"You won't get in the way," Lana said, her resolve increasing. "We share everything else, why not him too? He can love the both of us."

Lola shook her head. "No, Lana. He's yours. It wasn't right of me to try and take him away and I'm not going to do it now." She blinked her eyes slowly and took a deep breath. "You and him have nothing to do with me and I shouldn't have tried to make it about me. Dino said I was selfish and he was right. I am."

Well...Lana couldn't argue with that, but she waved her hand anyway. "Dino's an asshole. Don't worry about what he says." She reached out and took her sister's hand. Lola looked up, and Lana smiled. "Lincoln's great and you're right, he makes me real happy. I want him to make you happy too."

Lola thought, then shook her head again. "It's not right. I -"

"It's not right anyway," Lana said serenely. "He's our brother. What's one more abnormal thing?" She squeezed Lola's hand and flicked her eyes down as her mind flashed back to earlier in Lincoln's room, Lola climbing into his lap and his cheeks turning bright red. "The reason I got so mad about you doing that was…I think he likes you too."

She looked up, and Lola's eyes were wide. "You do?" she asked, unable to keep a hopeful note from her voice.

"Yeah. Did you see the way he acted when you were in his lap? I think he really liked it. I was threatened and scared you really would steal him."

"I'm sorry," Lola repeated earnestly.

Lana shook her head. "No, it's okay. He likes you too and I don't mind - we can have threesomes like on PornHub." She grinned and Lola's cheeks turned pink. Lana watched a lot of threesome videos, and while they weren't her favorite, they could be really hot when the participants did dirty stuff. Instead of one person peeing on you, you had _two_.

That alone was enough to make Lana want to add Lola.

One thing bothered her though.

"I just don't want you getting jealous or anything," she said, then thought for a second. "And I'll try not to be jealous either. I can _kind_ of be sometimes." That was an understatement. She wasn't as bad as Lola, but they were twins and even though their personalities were completely opposite, they shared a lot of traits.

"I won't be," Lola said solemnly. "Just having what you have - knowing that Lincoln loves me and looks at me the way he does you...like you're the most beautiful girl in the world…" she sighed dreamily.

A warm smile crossed Lana's face. He _did_ look at her that way, and it made her _feel_ beautiful. Granted, beauty wasn't something she put much stock in, but it felt _really_ nice even so. It would feel the same for Lola, she imagined.

"Let's do it, then," she said.

"Right now?" Lola asked in trepidation.

Lana playfully rolled her eyes. "No, in twenty years. Yes, right now."

Uncertainty crossed Lola's face, then she nodded. "Okay."

"Come on," Lana grinned.

* * *

Lincoln perched tensely on the edge of his bed, his shoulders hunched and his hands clasping his knees, one finger restlessly tap-tap-tapping. He looked like a man sitting in a hospital waiting room while his wife gave birth down the hall - nervous, reflective, and sick to his stomach with fear. Lana had only been gone a few minutes, but somehow it seemed like too long; she and Lola were both emotional right now, and all it would take for a simple talk to escalate into a fight was one cross word. Them going at it wasn't new, they'd done it a million times in the past, but this was different. Arguing over who got to go first in line or what game to play was mild, this was major, and given the fiery look in Lana's eyes when she went after Lola earlier, he surmised that any 'fight' between them would be major as well. He envisioned Lana straddling Lola, wrapping her hands around her delicate throat, and squeezing, her lips pulled back from her teeth in a sneer and her soft eyes flashing with hatred, and his stomach turned.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to send her in there alone. His reasoning was that since Lola...liked him or whatever it was she felt, he should stay away and let them talk it out on their own. Once that was out of the way, he could come in and...something; he didn't know. What's the protocol when two girls like the same boy? Catfights and bickering, he imagined, even if they were sisters. That conflict was compounded by the fact that the boy they both liked was their brother and lived in the same house. It would be different otherwise, but not matter where they went, he would be there, a constant reminder of the strife between them - a constant reminder to Lola that he was with Lana and not her.

 _That_ bothered him. Over the summer, Ronnie Anne dumped him for Poppa Wheelie (a move that perplexed Lincoln even now). He was gutted, heartbroken, and so sad he felt like dying. Now imagine if they _lived_ with him, and every time he walked out of his room he saw them together, holding hands, kissing, staring longingly into each other's eyes, or simply standing close. It would rip his heart open every single time, and it would never heal. He didn't want that for Lola. She was kind of a mean-girl, but call hm weak or a pushover, she was his sister and he loved her.

What could he do, though? Break up with Lana? _Neither of you can have me then._ Yeah, he loved Lola but that was not going to happen. Maybe…

He looked up when Lana came in, a big grin plastered to her face. Oh, thank God, it looks like things went well.

Really, well, in fact, since Lola came in right behind her, looking nervous but not like she'd just been choked. She brushed her blonde hair behind her ear and closed the door behind her.

"Hey, Linc," Lana said happily and dropped onto the bed with a bounce. Lola came over and sat on his other side, the scent of her perfume wrapping itself around him like a velvet glove. He looked from her to Lana; Lana's grin widened and she laid her hand on his leg.

Hm. He was _hoping_ they would make up somehow, but he never expected Lana to be quite this...buoyant, given the matter at hand. "Hey," he said, and glanced quickly at Lola; her hands were folded in her lap and her head was down, a spill of hair obscuring her regal features. "Did you guys talk?" he asked Lana.

"Yep," she said and ran her hand affectionately down his leg. She leaned forward to look at Lola, her brows shooting up as if to say _any time now._ He started to ask how it went, but froze when Lola's hand crept across his other leg, her gloved fingers brushing his inner thigh. Lana nodded in satisfaction. "We have an idea. If you're okay with it."

He looked from her to Lola; Lola's face was a lovely shade of pink and her teeth clamped her lower lip. Lincoln's heart started to race and he was suddenly hyper aware of her touch - the warmth of her hand through his jeans, the satiny scrape of her palm against rough denim. She flicked her eyes coyly to him then away, the corners of her mouth turning up. He swallowed hard and looked at Lana, who beamed suggestively.

She was okay with this.

"What?" he asked, even though he thought he knew - he was a lot of things, but stupid was not one of them. On the other hand, maybe it was wishful thinking.

Lana slided closer and skipped her fingers over his crotch; his dick stirred and started to fill with desire, bullets loading into the chamber of a gun. Lana's eyes twinkled with a roguish light. Lola followed her lead and slipped her hand between his legs. They both squeezed in unison, and he jumped, making both of them giggle. "Lola really likes you," Lana said.

Lincoln's heart skipped a beat, and he looked at Lola for confirmation. She darted her eyes demurely to his lap. "I do," she admitted.

"And," Lana said, tracing the outline of his now rigid dick with her fingers, "I figured we could _maybe_ share you."

That's exactly what Lincoln thought she was going to say, but it threw him for a loop anyway. "If that's okay with you," she added.

Before she and Lola came in, his thoughts were heading in that direction anyway. He didn't think he was brave enough to actually suggest to Lana that they include Lola - he could imagine the hurt in her eyes, and maybe even hostility too - but it made perfect sense.

He looked at Lola; she kept her focus trained on her hand, her fingertips rubbing soft, clumsy circles into his erection, her breathing heavy and her blush deeper, red now, like fire. She allowed her eyes to go to his, and their gazes locked; Lincoln's heart sputtered and his stomach tightened. In her clear, crystal eyes, he saw trepidity, longing...and hope.

She needed him.

"Of course it is," he said, speaking directly to her. Her mouth turned up in a trembling smile, and he took her hand, his fingers weaving through hers. It was small in his grasp, graceful and warm. "I love you, Lola, and I'd be happy to...to be with you too."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled through tears of joy. "I'd be happy too," she said.

They lost themselves in each other's eyes, their spirits mingling and their hearts slamming. When Lana whispered into his ear, her breath hot against his skin, her voice seemed to come from a great distance. "Kiss her."

Lola blushed and looked down at her lap.

Lincoln turned to Lana, and she nodded her assent.

He disentangled his hand from Lola's and looked at her, his heart palpitating. She glanced up, and for a moment, neither moved, then he leaned forward, and arching her back, she tilted into him, their lips meeting and their ragged breaths filling each other's noses. They gazed into one another's eyes for a moment, then Lincoln kissed her deeply, his tongue sweeping into her mouth and lovingly caressing hers. Her eyelids fluttered closed and a look of bliss touched her face; she didn't kiss him back, but simply basked in the feeling of him exploring her mouth and tasting her lips. Her hands trembled in her lap and her bare toes curled into the carpet; her flesh turned hot and her jagged heartbeat basted violently against her ribs. When Lincoln cupped her cheek in his hand, his palm skimming her face and his fingers teasing through her hair, her breath hitched, and she licked the tip of her tongue slowly across his, relshing the flavor of his mouth, her hands shooting out weakly and clutching the front of his shirt when she felt like she was going to fall.

Lincoln pulled back, and her half-lidded eyes were hazy, her pink, parted lips sparkling with their mingled salvia. Her chest expanded and contracted, and she resembled a woman drunk. She smiled lazily and giggled goofily. "That was nice," she said.

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it was."

Lana ran her hand over his chest and placed a wet, sizzling kiss on the side of his throat. "Now have sex with her." He turned to look at her, and she grinned widely.

When he looked at Lola, she wore a matching smile.

He could have protested.

He could have hemmed and hawed.

He could have done a lot of things, but he was hard and he wanted her, so he kissed her again, more urgently this time. She returned it, her tongue swirling around his and her hands running over his chest in wide, appreciative circles, her palms molding to the contours of his muscles. Their heads tilted from side to side as their tongues coupled frantically and their lips mashed with a wet squelch.

Somehow she wound up on her back and Lincoln on top of her, his fingers dancing up the outside of her smooth, creamy leg, the hem of her dress brushing toward the apex of her thighs. She flattened her palms against his chest and undulated her body against his, her legs spreading. His bulge raked across her lips and her back arched as sensation shot through her in crashing, electric waves. Lincoln hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down, the scrape of the soft fabric against her skin making her dizzy with passion. He broke the kiss and rocked back on his knees, his erection pushing out the front of his jeans. She chewed her bottom lip and stared hungrilly at it as he slipped her underwear over her ankle and threw them aside. Lana rubbed his back and stared at Lola over his shoulder, a devious grin on her face. "Take your dress off," she commanded like a naughty dungeon master guiding sinful play. Lola hesitated only briefly before slipping her arms through her dress, then pulling it over her head. She was entirely naked now, her lithe body bared for her brother and sister. Lincoln's breath caught and he caressed her with his gaze, his eyes pooling with lust that made her light-headed. "Do you like it?" she asked tentatively.

"You're beautiful," he said.

Her heartbeat sped up and her lips spread in a dirty simper. "Really?" she asked.

By way of reply, he laid his hands over her breasts, the heat of his palms soaking into her skin and making her tremble. He moved them slowly over her stomach, her sleek flanks, her hips, down her legs, his touch sending sharp pangs into her center. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she turned herself over to the feeling of him worshipping her body, lifting her leg and running his hands down her calf, her ankle, over the top of her foot, his fingers threading through her toes and his lips fleetingly touching the ball of her heel; hot lead swelled in her stomach and she panted deeply for breath. Sickly heat rolled from between her legs, and her scent filled the room like perfume,

"You're beautiful, Lola," Lincoln said and kissed the bottom of her foot, then the side of her ankle. She opened her eyes and he gazed upon her with total love and devotion. She licked her lips and swallowed thickly against a dry throat. Lana massaged Lincoln's shoulders and trailed trembling kisses along his neck and the side of his face. Her hat was gone, and her messy, dirty blonde hair hung to her bare shoulders. Lola couldn't see the rest of her but she imagined she was naked now too.

Lincoln let go of her leg and crawled between her thighs, propping himself up on one arm. With his other hand, he touched the side of her face and brushed his thumb over the ridge of her cheekbone. She stared up at him with wide, shimmering eyes, searching his face and seeing more love than she ever imagined possible. He leaned in and kissed her lips,the very tip of his tongue tasting her, his teeth brushing across her bottom lip, his nose brushing against hers. She took his face in her hands and kissed him back, her fingers running through his hair and her hips rocking against his bare erection, her wet lips grinding and gripping it, his shaft rubbing her clit and scrambling her brain.

She deepened the kiss, her arms circling around his neck and pulling him flush to her. Lana knelt on one side, nude, her face blushing and her eyes pooled with voyeuristic pleasure. Lola hooked one leg over Lincoln's hip, and he slipped his arm under, lifting it.

Wow, Lana thought, this was hotter than she thought it would be. Her eyes went to their sexes; Lincoln's dick prodded well above her hole, his hips sliding forward; he was mindless with passion, his body on autopilot. Lola wasn't much better off; her head was tossed back, her blonde hair pooled on the pillow, eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks blazing as Lincoln kissed her neck, one arm circled around her leg and the other resting on the bed.

They needed help, she decided.

Reaching down into the dank heat between them, she wrapped her fingers around Lincoln's pulsing shaft and guided it to Lola's opening, his head gliding between Lola's slick folds. Wow, she was _really_ wet, and though Lana had never looked at any girl, much less her sister, like _that,_ she found herself wanting to taste Lola's essence.

She let go of Lincoln's hand, swiped her finger along the beauty queen's center, and held it up to the light; it glistened with girl cum, and Lana slowly licked it, the salty flavor filling her mouth and coating her tongue. Ummm. It wasn't much different from Lincoln's.

Lincoln's hips moved gently back and forth but he didn't penetrate Lola - probably didn't even realize he was there. Or maybe she was too tight and he needed to _really_ thrust. Lana laid her hand on his back and leaned into his ear. "Push," she said in a trembling whisper. "Fuck her, Linc."

He didn't hear her; he was too busy ravishing Lola's throat with desperate kisses, his lips molding around her crazily pounding pulse and his teeth grazing the tendons in her neck; she gasped and moaned his name in a breathy rush.

Guess they need even _more_ help.

Sipping behind him, she cupped his butt in her hands, braced herself, and shoved forward just as he drew back: His hips shot forward and he sank deep into Lola's core, his head ripping through her hymen and his girth straining against her tight walls. She squealed and jumped, her back bending off the bed and her eyes flying open. Her face turned even redder than it was before and a long, trembling _aaaahhhhhh_ fell her from quivering lips.

There.

Does this mean Lincoln took her virginity, or I took it?

Eh, it was a team effort.

Lola hugged Lincoln's neck tight and gasped for breath, the look on her face a mix of pleasure and pain. Lincoln started to pull back, and Lola cried out. "Be gentle," she moaned, "be gentle, be gentle, be gentle."

He pushed himself up and fisted the blanket in his hands, then drew back as delicately as he could, his head bowing. Lana shifted and knelt beside them, her hands resting on the tops of her legs and her eyes pointed at the point of their coupling; his glistening shaft withdrew slowly from Lola's blushing lips, then eased forward, filling her and pushing them apart. Whoa. Just like porn. She looked at Lola; her hands rested on Lincoln's shoulders her teeth dug into her lower lip, her eyes slitted, her tiny breasts rising and falling with the tide of her heartbeat. She turned her head and their eyes met.

The irresistible urge to kiss her came over Lana, and she went with it, leaning over and fusing her lips to her sister's. Lola stiffened, but relaxed when Lana's tongue flicked across hers; she kissed her back, let go of Lincoln's shoulder, and took Lana's face in her hands, yanking her forward. Lana shot out one arm, caught herself, and grappled with Lola's tongue for dominance.

Holding Lola's hips, Lincoln slowly increased his speed, his butt rocking back and forth. Lana laid one hand on her sister's breast and ran her thumb over her erect nipple, eliciting a sharp gasp from the beauty queen's throat. Her hand wound up as if by magic between Lola's legs, and she stroked her clit with her thumb as Lincoln rutted into her, going faster, his breathing coming in grunts and bursts. Lola's tongue went slack, which told Lana she was getting close to cumming; she rubbed her clit faster, and Lola pulled her lips away for air, their noses mashed and their foreheads pressed together. Lola's hot breath and the dank, crotchy scent of hers and Lincoln's excitement drifted into Lana's nostrils, making her salivate like a dog over a steak.

Lincoln went faster, and Lola gasped into Lana's mouth; she took Lola's hand and held it tight, their gazes locking. Lincoln grunted, thrusted, and trembled when his orgasm exploded from his depths with volcanic force. Lola's eyes widened and she drew a sharp, surprised breath, her body coming unglued as Lincoln's burning seed spurted through the opening her her cervix and deep into her waiting womb. She cried out, bore down on Lana's hand, and shook, her eyes rolling back into her head in nirvana.

Panting, she flopped back against the pillow; her face was red and her eyes muddled, her sweaty hair veiling her face. Lana didn't know if she was bi or what, but in that moment, she found her sister captivating, and she almost wished she had a dick so she could fuck her the way Lincoln had.

Swallowing with an audible click, Lincoln pulled out in a rush of their mixed fluids. Lana's gaze went to Lola's pussy - it was pink and raw, thick, white cum dribbling out of her and leaking down between her thighs like the warm, gooey filling of pastry.

And what do you do when the yummy, creamy filling of a pastry starts oozing out?

Flicking her eyes to Lola's flushed face, Lana crawled over her sister and wedged herself between her legs. Lola's brows angled questioningly down, and Lana grinned devilishly as she splayed her hand on her sister's stomach. She grazed her palms over her silky flesh, dipped her head, and basked in Lola's sultry heat, drawing a slow breath through her nose and savoring the wild, musky scent. Her own pussy twinged, and her heartbeat picked up; she leaned forward and curled her tongue against Lola's clit; Lola sucked a sharp breath through her teeth and threw her head back with husky laugh. She raked her hand through her tangled hair and brushed her teeth over her lip. "I thought we were sharing _Lincoln,_ " she said.

Lana pulled back and skipped her tongue down Lola's center, stopping only when it dipped into the beauty queen's entrance and the taste of Lincoln's cum filled her mouth. "We were. Now Lincoln's sharing _you_." She swirled her tongue around Lola's hole and flicked it out to catch a glob of Lincoln's cum, then drew it into her mouth like a frog with a fly; it was warm, thick, and salty, tinged with Lola's distinctive flavor and with the coppery tang of virginal blood. She swallowed, and it slid down the back of her throat, then dropped into her stomach and spread its heat through her body like hot cocoa on a wintery day. She did it again, scooping more of her brother and sister's fluids out and swallowing it thirstily. On his knees, Lincoln gaped, his flaccid dick stirring to life once more - he didn't know why, but the way she lapped at the cum gushing from Lola's depths was really, really, really hot.

Lola slid her fingers into Lana's hair and grinded her core against her face, her hips rising and falling in a smooth, wave-like motion. Her eyes were closed, head back, the tip of her pink tongue caressing her lips. Lincoln drank her dirty beauty in with his eyes, then traveled his gaze to Lana, on her stomach between Lola's legs, her tongue dancing along Lola's center and stroking her swollen clit; her butt and shoulder blades flexed as she worked, her hands resting on either one of Lola's hips.

He was fully erect now, and allowed his body to lead him, mounting Lana from behind, his fingers massasing her shoulders and the head of his dick prodding between the cleft of her butt, slipping lower until it pressed against her scorching pool of moisture. She arched her back and rubbed herself tantalizingly against him. _Come and get it, big boy._ He held her hips and slowly sank himself into her, his dick drowning in her boiling well. He pulled back to the head, then thrusted forward, pushing her face deeper into Lola's core. Lola held Lana's head in place and pumped her hips faster. Lincoln studied her rhythm, then went faster, timing it so that each one of his drives sent Lana forward just as Lola lifted her hips.

Already he was close, and he slackened his pace to keep from tumbling over the edge. Could you blame him, though? The two most beautiful girls he had ever seen in his life were naked in his bed, his shaft buried deep in one and his eyes feasting upon the other, her face glowing with arousal, hair messy, eyelids fluttering, mouth open in an O…

Damn it, he was gonna go. Digging his nails into Lana's hips, he slammed deep, pulled back, and slammed again, his dick swelling and flooding her with his seed. Her muscles closed around him and she let out a breathy moan as she came with him; Lola gave one final thrust and reached her own peak, her orgasm hitting like an earthquake and tearing through her like superheated shrapnel. They came together, a sweaty mass of quivering flesh, one's climax blending into the other's, crackling pleasure flowing from one body to the next.

Done, Lincoln stayed where he was, catching his breath. Lola panted and held her hand to her forehead, a sleepy, satisfied smile on her face. Lana's back rose and fell, her face buried in her sister's folds and her brother's throbbing member buried deep in her center.

When he trusted himself to move without falling over, Lincoln pulled out in a gush and stretched out onto the bed next to his sisters, his head coming to rest on Lola's hip and his hand going to the back of Lana's head, brushing Lola's. She weaved her fingers through his and he squeezed weakly. "Wow," she breathed and giggled.

"Yeah," Lincoln agreed.

Lana propped herself up and grinned. "That was hot," she said.

"Ummm, yes it was," Lola said. "Now I really have to pee."

She started to get up, but Lana's eyes flashed and she pushed her back down. "Pee on me," she said.

Lola blinked. "What?"

Lincoln smiled fondly. That was his Lana - a nasty girl to the end.

"Pee on me," she repeated, "it'll be really hot."

Lola's nose wrinkled. "Lana, you're gross."

"I know," Lana said, then sobered. "Please?"

Lola looked at her for a moment, her lips bunching in thought. "Fine," she said. "I guess."

She and Lana changed positions, Lana stretching out supine on the bed and Lola straddling her. Lincoln winced because, come on, this is my bed, but he didn't say anything - Lana wanted this really bad, and he didn't have the heart to deny her. "Where do I do it?" Lola asked at lenght, her lips twisting in disgust.

"My face."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Okay." She got to her feet, positioned herself over Lana's face, and squatted, hovering her pussy over Lana and steadying herself on the headboard. Lincoln wanted to look away, but found that his morbid curiosity was greater than his gag reflex.

"Ready," Lana chirruped.

Lola looked ta Lincoln and shook her head. "Alright," she said, "here it comes." She clenched, and a yellow stream sprayed from between her legs, splattering Lana's face. Lincoln watched intently, his revulsion slowly turning to something else, something strangely close to arousal. Lana opened her mouth, and piss filled it, running over and coursing down her cheeks and chin in rivers. Lola glanced down at her sister, and something about seeing Lana completely at her mercy and covered in her pee, degraded and begging for more, was actually kind of stimulating.

When she was done, Lana closed her mouth and swallowed, her lips grinning widely. "How was that?" Lola asked.

Lana nodded and held up both thumbs.

"I kind of liked it too," Lola admitted.

"Yeah, it _was_ pretty hot," Lincoln said.

"I _knew_ I'd get you to see the light," Lana said smugly. Then: "Next time, maybe you can shit on my pussy."

* * *

 **I swear, guys, I don't have a piss fetish, I just wanted something nasty...but not** _ **too**_ **nasty.**


End file.
